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The big news is the midterm elections. Last night Republicans picked up a dozen seats in the House to give them their biggest majority since World War II. Or as they put it, 'Time to party like it's 1939!'
Jimmy Fallon
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Jimmy Fallon
Age: 50
Born: 1974
Born: September 19
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Brooklyn
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James Thomas Fallon
James Thomas Jimmy Fallon
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James Fallon
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More quotes by Jimmy Fallon
Look, I know these Rick Perry jokes are a little mean, but tomorrow, he won't even remember them.
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In New York, there are so many potholes, they're like craters on the moon. That's another traffic thing.
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In a recent interview, Jeb Bush revealed that his brother George gave him the nickname 'tortoise' because he's making slow, steady progress. Though I think the bigger story here is that compared to George, Jeb is the slow one.
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Thank you... fat dude with giant headphones on the subway, for looking like what would've happened if Jabba the Hutt mated with Princess Leia.
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I didn't invent the rainy day. I just own the best umbrella.
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Sandler's always good. Tom Hanks gave me some good advice.
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In a new interview, Herman Cain said that if Rick Perry were an ice cream flavor, he'd be 'Rocky Road.' I don't know, Perry's not really any flavor of ice cream. He's just the brain freeze part.
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President Obama has reduced the sentences of 22 federal prisoners who were arrested for drug-related crimes - eight of whom were serving life sentences. It marks the first time someone has said 'Thanks Obama' but actually meant it.
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Sources say the Obama administration is in the 'final stages' of planning the closing of Guantanamo Bay. The way it's gonna work is, they're going to put a Radio Shack sign out front and let nature take its course.
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Yesterday the CEO of Citigroup said that he can understand why all these Occupy Wall Street protesters are so frustrated. In fact, he felt so bad for them, he gave himself a $10 million sympathy bonus.
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When I see professional clowns, mimes, or people who makes ballon animals, I think of their relatives and how disappointed they must be.
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At a recent education summit, President Obama admitted that he can't rap. When they heard, Americans said, 'Good!'
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I never sing in the shower. It's very dangerous.
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Happy birthday to Arnold Palmer, who turned 82. That's 41 years iced tea and 41 years lemonade.
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