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Ted Cruz raised over a million dollars after announcing that he's running for president. Which is why today RadioShack announced that it is also running for president.
Jimmy Fallon
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Jimmy Fallon
Age: 50
Born: 1974
Born: September 19
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Television Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
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Brooklyn
New York
James Thomas Fallon
James Thomas Jimmy Fallon
James Thoms Fallon
James Fallon
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Cruz
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President
More quotes by Jimmy Fallon
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A Pennsylvania woman convicted for shoplifting was sentenced to wear a badge that reads Convicted Shoplifter. However, her lawyers hope to plea bargain down to a bumper sticker reading I'd Rather Be Stealing!.
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George W. Bush gave a commencement speech at Southern Methodist University this weekend. It was pretty inspirational. He said, 'As I like to tell the 'C' students, you too can be president.' Even George W. Bush has George W. Bush comedy material in his act.
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I can watch an episode of Jerry Seinfeld, and by the end, I'm just walking around my house, you know, talking like Jerry Seinfeld. 'What is that? What are you doing? Who is it? What's going' - you know, I just had that thing, when I grew up, I'd just start talking like people. You know, I always had that.
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Lincoln Chafee, former governor of Rhode Island, announced he's running for president. Before he announced he's running, his wife went on Facebook and asked his staff if they remembered his password. Because if a Facebook password is too hard to remember, the launch codes for the nukes should be a piece of cake.
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Yesterday on CNN, Joe Biden said he hasn't made up his mind about whether he'll run for president in 2016. Which raises the question: 'Who was raising that question?'
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This morning my dad called me up and said, 'So, tonight's your last show, huh.' And I said, 'No, Dad, that's someone else.'
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In a recent interview, Jeb Bush revealed that his brother George gave him the nickname 'tortoise' because he's making slow, steady progress. Though I think the bigger story here is that compared to George, Jeb is the slow one.
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President Obama said that over 40 countries have offered to help the U.S. fight ISIS. Of course they said it the same way your friends do when they promise to help you move. 'Yeah just call me, you know, if I'm around. It'll be fun.'
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Politics is pop. Our job as comedians - especially me, as a late-night talk show, which is a broader audience - is to amplify what we think America is thinking.
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Success is just happiness. When you are happy, that is success.
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It's Friday. That's one reason to celebrate. Also, it's the first day in a long time when no one declared they're running for president.
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