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We have first lady Michelle Obama on the show tonight. As you'd expect, security's been pretty tight. On my way in I got five pat-downs, and that was just from Joe Biden.
Jimmy Fallon
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Jimmy Fallon
Age: 50
Born: 1974
Born: September 19
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Brooklyn
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James Thomas Fallon
James Thomas Jimmy Fallon
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James Fallon
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More quotes by Jimmy Fallon
Donald Trump got in some trouble for saying that John McCain is not a war hero, and said, 'I like people that weren't captured.' Not good. In fact, Trump's people are telling him to lay low for a while until this all combs over.
Jimmy Fallon
It was announced today that Iran has reached a deal with the U.S. to limit its nuclear program and send most of its uranium to Russia. Then Americans said, 'That's great! Wait, WHAT?'
Jimmy Fallon
Politics is pop. Our job as comedians - especially me, as a late-night talk show, which is a broader audience - is to amplify what we think America is thinking.
Jimmy Fallon
Bernie Sanders' presidential campaign announced that it raised over $1.5 million in the 24 hours after he announced his bid. Meanwhile, a 12-year-old on Kickstarter just raised $7 million in five minutes after announcing his idea for juice box water guns.
Jimmy Fallon
Thank you... fat dude with giant headphones on the subway, for looking like what would've happened if Jabba the Hutt mated with Princess Leia.
Jimmy Fallon
L.A., its nice, but I think of sunshine and people on rollerblades eating sushi. New York, I think of nighttime, I think of Times Square and Broadway and nightlife and the city that never sleeps.
Jimmy Fallon
I like video games, I like tech, I like being positive.
Jimmy Fallon
The film 'Boyhood' won the Golden Globe for best drama. It follows one guy's journey over the course of 12 years - or as Mitt Romney calls that, 'running for president.'
Jimmy Fallon
A new survey found that 12 percent of parents punish their kids by banning social networking sites. The other 88 percent punish their kids by joining social networking sites.
Jimmy Fallon
After President Obama announced his support for net neutrality yesterday, Texas Senator Ted Cruz tweeted that 'Net neutrality is Obamacare for the Internet.' While Ted Cruz continues to be the Taylor Swift of not getting over Obamacare.
Jimmy Fallon
Hillary Clinton made a campaign stop in Las Vegas yesterday. She said she wants citizenship for undocumented immigrants. But after seeing Americans celebrate Cinco de Mayo yesterday, immigrants said, 'You know what, we're good. We're gonna head back now. We had enough.'
Jimmy Fallon
New Scientist magazine reported that in the future, cars could be powered by hazelnuts. That's encouraging, considering an eight-ounce jar of hazelnuts costs about nine dollars. Yeah, I've got an idea for a car that runs on bald eagle heads and Faberge eggs.
Jimmy Fallon
Don't keep reaching for the stars because you'll just look like an idiot stretching that way for no reason.
Jimmy Fallon
When I see professional clowns, mimes, or people who makes ballon animals, I think of their relatives and how disappointed they must be.
Jimmy Fallon
Jeb Bush's brother Neil said that their mother has 'come around' to the idea of Jeb running for president in 2016. Because if there's anything that says you're qualified to be president, it's your own mom saying, 'I guess you could do it.'
Jimmy Fallon
The favorite to win the Olympic gold medal in archery is a legally blind athlete from South Korea, mainly because everyone else is too scared to compete next to him.
Jimmy Fallon
Jeb Bush is facing criticism after it was just revealed that he checked off his race as 'Hispanic' on a voter registration form back in 2009. When asked if he regrets it now, Bush said, 'Si.'
Jimmy Fallon
George W. Bush gave a commencement speech at Southern Methodist University this weekend. It was pretty inspirational. He said, 'As I like to tell the 'C' students, you too can be president.' Even George W. Bush has George W. Bush comedy material in his act.
Jimmy Fallon
There are reports that if Joe Biden runs for president, he would promise to serve for only one term - because nothing says confidence like promising your presidency would be over quickly.
Jimmy Fallon
I was into the Mets because my Dad worked at IBM where he got free Mets tickets, so I was into the Mets... then I got to 'Saturday Night Live' where my boss has unbelievable N.Y. Yankees tickets, so he invites us to the games. I'm going to all the games, so I might as well root for the team I'm gonna go sit with.
Jimmy Fallon