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God invented mankind because he loved silly stories. Ralph Steadman I like being absurd.

Jimmy Fallon

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Jimmy Fallon
Age: 50
Born: 1974
Born: September 19
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Television Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
James Thomas Fallon
James Thomas Jimmy Fallon
James Thoms Fallon
James Fallon
Stories
Like
Ralph
Invented
Absurd
Silly
Laughter
Mankind
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More quotes by Jimmy Fallon

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The Illinois Senate passed a bill on Wednesday to legalize medical marijuana. The bill was passed after the state senator said, 'Come on, dude, pass it. Come on.'
Jimmy Fallon
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This week, Georgia's board of education approved a plan that allows teachers to keep using the word Evolution when teaching biology. Though, as a compromise, dinosaurs are now called Jesus Horses.
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I'm on so late I'm definitely the last seconds of anyone's attention. So I just want to give them something dumb to laugh at, so they go, 'That's funny,' then fall asleep.
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John McCain addressed critics who believe he will be too old to run for a sixth term in the Senate, saying that he's still healthy and ready to go. Then people around McCain said, 'Why is he talking to that mannequin?'
Jimmy Fallon
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I never sing in the shower. It's very dangerous.
Jimmy Fallon
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Jeb Bush is facing criticism after it was just revealed that he checked off his race as 'Hispanic' on a voter registration form back in 2009. When asked if he regrets it now, Bush said, 'Si.'
Jimmy Fallon
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Tomorrow President Obama will host NASCAR racing champion Kevin Harvick at the White House. They both said they look forward to spending an hour or two not having the slightest interest in what the other is saying.
Jimmy Fallon
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It's all about the script. Reality is key to me and less cutesy.
Jimmy Fallon
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Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg apparently called President Obama directly to complain about NSA and how it spies on ordinary Americans. That's right, the guy who runs Facebook got mad at the NSA for spying on people. Talk about the pot unfriending the kettle!
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My dream was to grow up and get a job at IBM, like my dad. That seemed like a logical dream.
Jimmy Fallon
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Congrats to Prince William and Kate Middleton, who welcomed a baby girl on Saturday. The royal baby weighed eight pounds - or around 12 American dollars.
Jimmy Fallon
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Thank you 'adults who wear back packs' for letting me know that I don't have to take you seriously
Jimmy Fallon
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Ten Delta Airlines baggage handlers were arrested for smuggling drugs into Detroit. Yeah, you can tell Delta was involved, because the drugs were supposed to be smuggled into Chicago.
Jimmy Fallon
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New Scientist magazine reported that in the future, cars could be powered by hazelnuts. That's encouraging, considering an eight-ounce jar of hazelnuts costs about nine dollars. Yeah, I've got an idea for a car that runs on bald eagle heads and Faberge eggs.
Jimmy Fallon
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Today Russia announced that it will join America's fight with the terror group ISIS. Then Putin said, But I did not say which side.
Jimmy Fallon
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New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie is going to Israel. He's going to be pretty disappointed when he finds out the Gaza Strip isn't a steak.
Jimmy Fallon
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Both President Obama and former President George W. Bush were interviewed on 'Face the Nation' over the weekend. President Bush said there's a 50 percent chance his brother Jeb will run for president in 2016. Then he said, 'But there's an 80 percent chance he won't.'
Jimmy Fallon
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President Obama just made his first presidential trip to the state of Utah. Obama spent his time in Utah just like you'd expect - telling people, 'Uh, no, I don't play for the Jazz.'
Jimmy Fallon
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The big news is the midterm elections. Last night Republicans picked up a dozen seats in the House to give them their biggest majority since World War II. Or as they put it, 'Time to party like it's 1939!'
Jimmy Fallon
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Sometimes I wish I had a terrible childhood, so that at least I'd have an excuse.
Jimmy Fallon