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Thank you hard taco shells for surviving the long journey from factory, to supermarket, to my plate and then breaking the moment I put something inside you. Thank you.
Jimmy Fallon
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Jimmy Fallon
Age: 50
Born: 1974
Born: September 19
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Television Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
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Brooklyn
New York
James Thomas Fallon
James Thomas Jimmy Fallon
James Thoms Fallon
James Fallon
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More quotes by Jimmy Fallon
Both President Obama and former President George W. Bush were interviewed on 'Face the Nation' over the weekend. President Bush said there's a 50 percent chance his brother Jeb will run for president in 2016. Then he said, 'But there's an 80 percent chance he won't.'
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President Obama said that if he could have any superpower, he'd want the ability to speak any language. That's so everyone in the world could tell him he picked one of the lamest possible superpowers.
Jimmy Fallon
Here's a little bit of good news. The Coast Guard says that BP is now catching up to 630,000 gallons of oil a day. The bad news is that they're capturing it with ducks.
Jimmy Fallon
While he was in Utah, Obama discussed immigration reform with leaders of the Mormon Church. Obama introduced the first lady. Then the church's president introduced HIS first lady. And his second lady. And his third, fourth, and fifth ladies.
Jimmy Fallon
A tell-all book by David Axelrod, one of President Obama's former strategists, reveals that Obama chose Joe Biden as his VP because of his energy and enthusiasm. You know, the qualities you look for in someone whose main job is traveling to state funerals.
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Newt Gingrich plans to announce his campaign for president this Wednesday. I don’t know about his chances. I mean, I’m not saying Gingrich peaked in the ‘90s, but his campaign is being sponsored by Tamagotchis and Crystal Pepsi.
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I sing in the car if I'm in LA, because you're like soundproofed.
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President Obama recently said that his day is all about politics, so in the mornings he likes to watch ESPN. So if you get the feeling he's repeating himself every half hour, that's where he learned it from.
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Big news from last night's Republican debate, you guys. It turns out George Bush was actually the smart Texas governor.
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New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie is going to Israel. He's going to be pretty disappointed when he finds out the Gaza Strip isn't a steak.
Jimmy Fallon
Yesterday, the White House confirmed that President Obama will meet with Pope Francis during his visit in September. Some experts are wondering if they'll discuss their disagreement over contraception. Then Joe Biden said, 'I didn't even know they were dating.'
Jimmy Fallon
New Scientist magazine reported that in the future, cars could be powered by hazelnuts. That's encouraging, considering an eight-ounce jar of hazelnuts costs about nine dollars. Yeah, I've got an idea for a car that runs on bald eagle heads and Faberge eggs.
Jimmy Fallon
Politics is pop. Our job as comedians - especially me, as a late-night talk show, which is a broader audience - is to amplify what we think America is thinking.
Jimmy Fallon
Senator Rand Paul reflected on Mitt Romney's potential 2016 campaign and said, 'It's sort of what Einstein said, that the definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over again and expect a different result.' When someone told him Einstein didn't actually say that, he said, 'In the words of Gandhi, 'My bad.''
Jimmy Fallon
In several speeches and interviews, Donald Trump has brought up his book 'The Art of the Deal,' and said that Obama would have negotiated a better deal with Iran if he had read it. It got even more awkward for Obama when Iran was like, 'It worked for us - you guys got screwed!'
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Happy birthday to Arnold Palmer, who turned 82. That's 41 years iced tea and 41 years lemonade.
Jimmy Fallon
The favorite to win the Olympic gold medal in archery is a legally blind athlete from South Korea, mainly because everyone else is too scared to compete next to him.
Jimmy Fallon
We have first lady Michelle Obama on the show tonight. As you'd expect, security's been pretty tight. On my way in I got five pat-downs, and that was just from Joe Biden.
Jimmy Fallon
Live your life by doing activities that are beneficial
Jimmy Fallon
Whenever I'm stuck in traffic, I can't help but wonder, 'Where did the creator of The Jetsons go, and why hasn't he done something about this?'
Jimmy Fallon