Quote

I'm on so late I'm definitely the last seconds of anyone's attention. So I just want to give them something dumb to laugh at, so they go, 'That's funny,' then fall asleep.

Jimmy Fallon

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Jimmy Fallon
Age: 50
Born: 1974
Born: September 19
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Television Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
James Thomas Fallon
James Thomas Jimmy Fallon
James Thoms Fallon
James Fallon
Last
Dumb
Funny
Definitely
Fall
Laugh
Give
Late
Giving
Laughing
Something
Anyone
Attention
Asleep
Lasts
Seconds

More quotes by Jimmy Fallon

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'Have fun' is my message. Be silly. You're allowed to be silly. There's nothing wrong with it.
Jimmy Fallon
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Rachel Dolezal stepped down from her position as president of an NAACP chapter after it was revealed that she was a white woman pretending to be black. Now her brother says he knew about it but she asked him not to blow her cover. Unfortunately, her cover had already been blown by God when he made her a blond-haired, blue-eyed white lady.
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Hillary Clinton wrote an Op-Ed for a paper in Iowa about her plans to help the middle class. Middle-class Americans said, 'Why didn't you just say that in a speech?' and she said, 'Because I charge $200,000 for a speech.'
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A top aide to Donald Trump says he quit the campaign this weekend because of Trump's public feuds, but Trump said he was fired. When asked what he was fired for, Trump said, 'Quitting!'
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The Pentagon banned the army from using Chinese-made berets. In a more veiled slap at the Chinese, the Pentagon also banned any alternative form of checkers.
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It was announced today that Iran has reached a deal with the U.S. to limit its nuclear program and send most of its uranium to Russia. Then Americans said, 'That's great! Wait, WHAT?'
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In Pakistan anti-American protesters set a Kentucky Fried chicken restaurant on fire. The protesters mistakenly thought they were attacking high-ranking U.S. military official Colonel Sanders.
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This is interesting. Researchers have found that people who drive drunk are more dangerous on the road than drivers who are high on marijuana. Don't get too excited. It's mostly because the drivers using marijuana are just sitting in the Taco Bell drive-through.
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The Department of Agriculture announced that it will ban six new strains of E. coli. Which explains why the hot dog vendor outside my building is now just selling napkins.
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Here's a little bit of good news. The Coast Guard says that BP is now catching up to 630,000 gallons of oil a day. The bad news is that they're capturing it with ducks.
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Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg apparently called President Obama directly to complain about NSA and how it spies on ordinary Americans. That's right, the guy who runs Facebook got mad at the NSA for spying on people. Talk about the pot unfriending the kettle!
Jimmy Fallon
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Yesterday in Florida, President Obama kissed a woman on the cheek after she told him he looks good. Which explains why last night, Michelle made him sleep on Air Mattress One.
Jimmy Fallon
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In a recent attack ad, the NRA claims that President Obama cares about his own children more than he cares about other children. In response, President Obama was like, 'Yeah, that's how families work.'
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I sing in the car if I'm in LA, because you're like soundproofed.
Jimmy Fallon
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In a recent interview, John McCain addressed Trump's campaign rally in Arizona and said that he just quote, 'fired up the crazies.' Not to be confused with Trump's show 'Celebrity Apprentice,' where he just FIRED the crazies.
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President Obama had beer with four unemployed construction workers. And Obama asked the guys what was it like to lose their jobs, and they were like, 'Oh, you'll see.'
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I remember people saying to us, You're too nice. Hollywood is going to eat you up and spit you out. I never listened to them.
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Officials at the London Olympics will be conducting 5,000 tests for steroids. Or as Lance Armstrong calls that, 'a Monday.'
Jimmy Fallon
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A new poll also shows that a majority of people in Colorado think Hillary Clinton is not trustworthy. Although, that's not saying much coming from the most paranoid state in America. 'Hillary Clinton? She's a cop?'
Jimmy Fallon
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Another scandal for Hillary Clinton - they're saying she used a private email address when she was secretary of state, which means the government couldn't archive and preserve her emails. Then Obama said, 'Don't worry, we saw them. We see everyone's emails.'
Jimmy Fallon