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Thank you... fat dude with giant headphones on the subway, for looking like what would've happened if Jabba the Hutt mated with Princess Leia.
Jimmy Fallon
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Jimmy Fallon
Age: 50
Born: 1974
Born: September 19
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Television Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
James Thomas Fallon
James Thomas Jimmy Fallon
James Thoms Fallon
James Fallon
Thank
Leia
Happened
Headphones
Looking
Subway
Would
Dude
Like
Giant
Princess
Giants
Fats
Mated
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Thank you... motion sensor hand towel machine. You never work, so I just end up looking like I'm waving hello to a wall robot.
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President Obama has reduced the sentences of 22 federal prisoners who were arrested for drug-related crimes - eight of whom were serving life sentences. It marks the first time someone has said 'Thanks Obama' but actually meant it.
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This morning my dad called me up and said, 'So, tonight's your last show, huh.' And I said, 'No, Dad, that's someone else.'
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The fans were so psyched that someone was doing a movie about a Boston fan that they were giving their all.
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Hillary Clinton made a campaign stop in Las Vegas yesterday. She said she wants citizenship for undocumented immigrants. But after seeing Americans celebrate Cinco de Mayo yesterday, immigrants said, 'You know what, we're good. We're gonna head back now. We had enough.'
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I saw that on Small Business Saturday, the president went shopping at a bookstore and bought 17 books, including The Laughing Monsters, Being Mortal, and Heart of Darkness. Or as the cashier put it, You OK, man? Maybe a little 'Chicken Soup for the Presidential Soul?'
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Today, President Obama finally met with BP's CEO, Tony Hayward, but the meeting was only scheduled 20 minutes. Call me crazy, but I think it should take more time to discuss an oil spill than it does to get your oil checked.
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New York Governor Andrew Cuomo just signed a bill that bans powdered alcohol from the state. So if you live in New York and you're consuming powdered alcohol, your life just somehow got even worse.
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Ben Carson actually lost a tooth. Which explains why he said that under his leadership, Americans would be entitled to 'life, liberty, and the purthuit of happineth.'
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Time magazine interviewed Bill Clinton about the current presidential campaign, and he claimed he had to ask Hillary to marry him three times before she said yes. Then Hillary was like, 'Yeah. That wasn't me.'
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In an interview last night, Rick Perry criticized Mitt Romney for flip-flopping on the issues. Romney said that Perry has no idea what he's talking about. Then he added, 'But he does know what he's talking about.'
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BP wants Twitter to shut down a fake BP account that is mocking the oil company. In response, Twitter wants BP to shut down the oil leak that's ruining the ocean.
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You're sitting there, with your wife and your baby and your smiling dog, and you're watching Real Housewives getting into fistfights on TV. And you go, 'How great is my life? I'm so happy right now.'
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