Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
Thank you, yard sales, for being the perfect way to say to your neighbors: We think we're important enough to charge money for our garbage.
Jimmy Fallon
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Jimmy Fallon
Age: 50
Born: 1974
Born: September 19
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Television Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
James Thomas Fallon
James Thomas Jimmy Fallon
James Thoms Fallon
James Fallon
Perfect
Yard
Money
Sales
Enough
Yards
Important
Neighbors
Way
Garbage
Think
Charge
Thinking
Thank
Neighbor
More quotes by Jimmy Fallon
Barnes & Noble CEO William Lynch just announced that he is stepping down after three years. When asked if he's looking for a new job, he was like, 'Nah, just browsing.'
Jimmy Fallon
Thank you, people who say 'Wow, you're really photogenic,' for not saying what you really mean: 'Wow, you're really ugly in person.'
Jimmy Fallon
We have first lady Michelle Obama on the show tonight. As you'd expect, security's been pretty tight. On my way in I got five pat-downs, and that was just from Joe Biden.
Jimmy Fallon
President Obama said that if he could have any superpower, he'd want the ability to speak any language. That's so everyone in the world could tell him he picked one of the lamest possible superpowers.
Jimmy Fallon
This week Bill Clinton tweeted a photo of himself reading George W. Bush's new book '41.' Then George W. Bush responded to that post on Instagram. Then John McCain said 'You two are hilarious' by telegraph.
Jimmy Fallon
We have a really, really great dog. It doesn't bark. My dog almost smiles, which is weird. He's just a very happy dog.
Jimmy Fallon
In a recent interview, Jeb Bush revealed that his brother George gave him the nickname 'tortoise' because he's making slow, steady progress. Though I think the bigger story here is that compared to George, Jeb is the slow one.
Jimmy Fallon
Thank you... motion sensor hand towel machine. You never work, so I just end up looking like I'm waving hello to a wall robot.
Jimmy Fallon
Republicans also took control of the Senate after gaining another seven seats. I haven't seen the GOP get this many seats since Chris Christie made an airline reservation.
Jimmy Fallon
Yesterday the CEO of Citigroup said that he can understand why all these Occupy Wall Street protesters are so frustrated. In fact, he felt so bad for them, he gave himself a $10 million sympathy bonus.
Jimmy Fallon
Look, I know these Rick Perry jokes are a little mean, but tomorrow, he won't even remember them.
Jimmy Fallon
Republicans in Congress are getting concerned that President Obama will try to use the final year of his term to push through too many controversial laws. Obama would've responded but he was busy drafting his new 'mandatory Mexican gay weed' bill.
Jimmy Fallon
Hillary Clinton wrote an Op-Ed for a paper in Iowa about her plans to help the middle class. Middle-class Americans said, 'Why didn't you just say that in a speech?' and she said, 'Because I charge $200,000 for a speech.'
Jimmy Fallon
According to a new poll, 48 percent of Americans believe that Hillary Clinton is honest and trustworthy. Then Hillary said, 'Actually I just made that poll up.'
Jimmy Fallon
I, of course, wanted to do something with Drew Barrymore. Please. So we were reading scripts back and forth and then we found this script, Fever Pitch...
Jimmy Fallon
Whenever I'm stuck in traffic, I can't help but wonder, 'Where did the creator of The Jetsons go, and why hasn't he done something about this?'
Jimmy Fallon
Disney World is celebrating its 40th birthday! You can tell the characters are getting old. In addition to Snow White's seven dwarfs, she now has 25 cats.
Jimmy Fallon
Success is just happiness. When you are happy, that is success.
Jimmy Fallon
The U.S. is re-establishing relations with Cuba. But before President Obama can lift the embargo, it will need approval from the Republican-controlled Congress - or as Republicans who called Obama said, 'Close, but no cigar.'
Jimmy Fallon
Sandler's always good. Tom Hanks gave me some good advice.
Jimmy Fallon