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Thank you, people who say 'Wow, you're really photogenic,' for not saying what you really mean: 'Wow, you're really ugly in person.'

Jimmy Fallon

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Jimmy Fallon
Age: 50
Born: 1974
Born: September 19
Actor
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Film Actor
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Brooklyn
New York
James Thomas Fallon
James Thomas Jimmy Fallon
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James Fallon
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Officials at the London Olympics will be conducting 5,000 tests for steroids. Or as Lance Armstrong calls that, 'a Monday.'
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Donald Trump got in some trouble for saying that John McCain is not a war hero, and said, 'I like people that weren't captured.' Not good. In fact, Trump's people are telling him to lay low for a while until this all combs over.
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This week a man was arrested for jumping over the White House fence and trying to spray paint a political message. If that guy really wanted to get a message to the president, he could have just written it in an email to literally anyone.
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I think you just look for the person you have the most fun with. And that's enough. You realize, Wait, I can just keep having fun with her forever? Yes, you can do that. That is the key.
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There are reports that if Joe Biden runs for president, he would promise to serve for only one term - because nothing says confidence like promising your presidency would be over quickly.
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New Defense Secretary Ashton Carter said that he is open to letting transgender people serve in the military. He said there's no reason to prevent people from being generals just because of their privates.
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Today, President Obama finally met with BP's CEO, Tony Hayward, but the meeting was only scheduled 20 minutes. Call me crazy, but I think it should take more time to discuss an oil spill than it does to get your oil checked.
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Thank you 'adults who wear back packs' for letting me know that I don't have to take you seriously
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I sing in the car if I'm in LA, because you're like soundproofed.
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According to a new poll, 48 percent of Americans believe that Hillary Clinton is honest and trustworthy. Then Hillary said, 'Actually I just made that poll up.'
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Newt Gingrich plans to announce his campaign for president this Wednesday. I don’t know about his chances. I mean, I’m not saying Gingrich peaked in the ‘90s, but his campaign is being sponsored by Tamagotchis and Crystal Pepsi.
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A top aide to Donald Trump says he quit the campaign this weekend because of Trump's public feuds, but Trump said he was fired. When asked what he was fired for, Trump said, 'Quitting!'
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Researches tested a new form of medical marijuana that treats pain but doesn't get the user high, prompting patients who need medical marijuana to declare, 'Thank you?'
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President Obama had beer with four unemployed construction workers. And Obama asked the guys what was it like to lose their jobs, and they were like, 'Oh, you'll see.'
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In a recent attack ad, the NRA claims that President Obama cares about his own children more than he cares about other children. In response, President Obama was like, 'Yeah, that's how families work.'
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