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I may be middle class, but I'm hard. 'Al dente', you could say.

Jimmy Carr

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Jimmy Carr
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: September 15
Comedian
Film Actor
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Writer
James Anthony Patrick Carr
Als
Middle
Class
May
Hard

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You never want to be the grumpy guy, although I do have quite a grumpy face.
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Viagra has instructions: 'Keep away from children' - what kind of man do you think I am?
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You go, well you can't joke about race. Well if you're from a different race and that's your experience of the world and you want to talk about that, then fine. Or you can't talk about disability, but disabled comics can talk about that.
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I was in the South of France. I saw a Brownie on a school trip. She was holding up a book. It said on the front 'rough guide'. I thought: 'Yeah' she's not a looker.
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Women were quite terrifying until I was older. I think that's partly down to confidence.
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Yes, I have this crazy honk of a laugh.
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I was a Christian. I didn't want to have sex before marriage, I was a bit uptight and not very self-confident. I was a virgin until I was 26.
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A surprising amount of my jokes sound very implausible but are true.
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I think they got it wrong with Saddam Hussein. They thought he had the A-Bomb. Instead he had a bomb.
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When I was a kid I had an imaginary friend and I used to think that he went everywhere with me, and that I could talk to him and that he could hear me, and that he could grant me wishes and stuff. And then I grew up, and I stopped going to church.
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I used to buy lottery tickets every week until I realised you could watch it on TV for nothing.
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I am trying to release endorphins here. I am not preaching to you - I am trying to make you laugh.
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I worry about my nan. If she's alone and falls, does she make a noise? I'm joking, she's dead.
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I was in love with the idea of being in love with a woman way before I was actually in love with one.
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I think being successful in comedy is being funny and making jokes - anything beyond that is the icing on the cake.
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I think the idea that death is not the end, that your dog's just gone to live on the farm, is limiting. Thoughts like that prevent you from making the most of the time that you have.
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Once I was doing a sponsored walk. In the end I managed to raise so much money, I could afford a taxi.
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Jokes spread around the world and embed themselves in our shared culture the most resonant of them get lodged in the language in the same way as clichés or old wives' tales do.
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Remember to never answer a phone during sex, even if you hilariously answer with 'I can't talk now, I'm going into a tunnel'.
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Eighteen years since the Chernobyl disaster. Is it just me surprized? Still no superheroes!
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