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I may be middle class, but I'm hard. 'Al dente', you could say.

Jimmy Carr

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Jimmy Carr
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: September 15
Comedian
Film Actor
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Writer
James Anthony Patrick Carr
Als
Middle
Class
May
Hard

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You never want to be the grumpy guy, although I do have quite a grumpy face.
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After a gig I always head back to the hotel, remembering granny's words of wisdom. I cancel the late-night pizza and watch the Jonathan Ross show instead.
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When you eat a lot of spicy food, you can lose your taste. When I was in India last summer, I was listening to a lot of Michael Bolton.
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I, of course, don't have an accent. This is just how things sound when they are pronounced properly.
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Eighteen years since the Chernobyl disaster. Is it just me surprized? Still no superheroes!
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The bigger the audience, the better with comedy.
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It had to be hammered home quite a bit because I didn't see any humour in my life at all.
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Cats have nine lives. Makes them ideal for experimentation.
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I am trying to release endorphins here. I am not preaching to you - I am trying to make you laugh.
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Viagra has instructions: 'Keep away from children' - what kind of man do you think I am?
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I didn't plan to be the rude middle-class comedian. You write a certain type of joke that you find funny, and mine happen to be often rude. Yes, it's juvenile, but that's me.
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I like to write a joke without any fat on it.The shorter the better. I cater for people with ADD, basically.
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Saying that you don't believe in magic but do believe in god is a bit like saying you don't have sex with dogs, except labradors.
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If I'm at home for the weekend - and that is almost never - I tend to get twitchy at about eight o'clock in the evening because my body clock is timed to go on stage. I don't know what to do with myself.
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Recently my girlfriend asked me if I was having sex behind her back and I replied, Yes, who did you think it was?
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It's so clear cut with a comedian - you have that reflex action, whereby you laugh or you don't. And so you either love us or you simply cannot see why people are laughing.
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Staying in luxury hotels still gives me a kick, especially Oulton Hall in Yorkshire. I'd stay in a hotel for the breakfast and room service.
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My mum told me the best time to ask my dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I'd ever been given. I burst in through the bedroom door saying Can I have a new bike?. He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.
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British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough. Use an ashtray!
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Put Smarties tubes on cats legs, make them walk like a robot.
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