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I may be middle class, but I'm hard. 'Al dente', you could say.

Jimmy Carr

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Jimmy Carr
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: September 15
Comedian
Film Actor
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Writer
James Anthony Patrick Carr
Hard
Als
Middle
Class
May

More quotes by Jimmy Carr

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British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough. Use an ashtray!
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I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die. I would have thought the obvious one was 'Shout For Help'.
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There was one time where I failed to perform sexually. My girlfriend said to me oh don't worry, it happens to a lot of guys. Ok, there are two things wrong with that. First of all who are these other guys?, and second of all if it's happening to more than one of us, don't you think it could be YOUR fault?
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I think they got it wrong with Saddam Hussein. They thought he had the A-Bomb. Instead he had a bomb.
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I was in the South of France. I saw a Brownie on a school trip. She was holding up a book. It said on the front 'rough guide'. I thought: 'Yeah' she's not a looker.
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I don't see myself as offending people.
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The 2012 Olympics is going to cost £8 billion which is a lot of money. It'll probably bankrupt London. But you can't put a price on two bronze medals in cycling.
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Yes, I have this crazy honk of a laugh.
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If we're all God's children, what's so special about Jesus?
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Put Smarties tubes on cats legs, make them walk like a robot.
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I worry about my nan. If she's alone and falls, does she make a noise? I'm joking, she's dead.
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Staying in luxury hotels still gives me a kick, especially Oulton Hall in Yorkshire. I'd stay in a hotel for the breakfast and room service.
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I think being successful in comedy is being funny and making jokes - anything beyond that is the icing on the cake.
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Women were quite terrifying until I was older. I think that's partly down to confidence.
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When you eat a lot of spicy food, you can lose your taste. When I was in India last summer, I was listening to a lot of Michael Bolton.
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I had a survey done on my house. 8 out of 10 people said they really rather liked it
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After a gig I always head back to the hotel, remembering granny's words of wisdom. I cancel the late-night pizza and watch the Jonathan Ross show instead.
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I think the idea that death is not the end, that your dog's just gone to live on the farm, is limiting. Thoughts like that prevent you from making the most of the time that you have.
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My girlfriend bought a cook book the other day called 'Cheap and easy vegetarian cooking'. Which is perfect for her, because not only is she vegetarian.
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A surprising amount of my jokes sound very implausible but are true.
Jimmy Carr