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I may be middle class, but I'm hard. 'Al dente', you could say.

Jimmy Carr

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Jimmy Carr
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: September 15
Comedian
Film Actor
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Writer
James Anthony Patrick Carr
Als
Middle
Class
May
Hard

More quotes by Jimmy Carr

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A surprising amount of my jokes sound very implausible but are true.
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When I was a kid I had an imaginary friend and I used to think that he went everywhere with me, and that I could talk to him and that he could hear me, and that he could grant me wishes and stuff. And then I grew up, and I stopped going to church.
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Yes, I have this crazy honk of a laugh.
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I like to write a joke without any fat on it.The shorter the better. I cater for people with ADD, basically.
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I didn't plan to be the rude middle-class comedian. You write a certain type of joke that you find funny, and mine happen to be often rude. Yes, it's juvenile, but that's me.
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It had to be hammered home quite a bit because I didn't see any humour in my life at all.
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Jokes spread around the world and embed themselves in our shared culture the most resonant of them get lodged in the language in the same way as clichés or old wives' tales do.
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After a gig I always head back to the hotel, remembering granny's words of wisdom. I cancel the late-night pizza and watch the Jonathan Ross show instead.
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I did a gig in the U.S. once for the homeless. I said 'It's nice to see so many bums on seats.'
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I was in love with the idea of being in love with a woman way before I was actually in love with one.
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I was a Christian. I didn't want to have sex before marriage, I was a bit uptight and not very self-confident. I was a virgin until I was 26.
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You never want to be the grumpy guy, although I do have quite a grumpy face.
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I, of course, don't have an accent. This is just how things sound when they are pronounced properly.
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My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I can't help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen.
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Boxers don't have sex before a fight. Do you know why that is? They don't fancy each other.
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A big girl once came up to me after a show and said I think you're fatist. I said No, no. I think you're fattest.
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I had a survey done on my house. 8 out of 10 people said they really rather liked it
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I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die. I would have thought the obvious one was 'Shout For Help'.
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I think the idea that death is not the end, that your dog's just gone to live on the farm, is limiting. Thoughts like that prevent you from making the most of the time that you have.
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But what's true about comedians is that we've all got a huge hole in our personality. In a room of 3,000 people, we're the one person facing in the opposite direction - yet we have this overwhelming desire to be liked.
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