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I think they got it wrong with Saddam Hussein. They thought he had the A-Bomb. Instead he had a bomb.

Jimmy Carr

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Jimmy Carr
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: September 15
Comedian
Film Actor
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Writer
James Anthony Patrick Carr
Wrong
Thought
Think
Thinking
Bomb
Hussein
Bombs
Instead

More quotes by Jimmy Carr

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Eighteen years since the Chernobyl disaster. Is it just me surprized? Still no superheroes!
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I worry about my nan. If she's alone and falls, does she make a noise? I'm joking, she's dead.
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Yes, I have this crazy honk of a laugh.
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When you eat a lot of spicy food, you can lose your taste. When I was in India last summer, I was listening to a lot of Michael Bolton.
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I don't see myself as offending people.
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Put Smarties tubes on cats legs, make them walk like a robot.
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Women were quite terrifying until I was older. I think that's partly down to confidence.
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I was in love with the idea of being in love with a woman way before I was actually in love with one.
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Jokes spread around the world and embed themselves in our shared culture the most resonant of them get lodged in the language in the same way as clichés or old wives' tales do.
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I love those people who do story-telling and who ramble on, but I don't do that, I tell jokes - the sort of jokes that anyone really could tell in the pub.
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The bigger the audience, the better with comedy.
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You go, well you can't joke about race. Well if you're from a different race and that's your experience of the world and you want to talk about that, then fine. Or you can't talk about disability, but disabled comics can talk about that.
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Staying in luxury hotels still gives me a kick, especially Oulton Hall in Yorkshire. I'd stay in a hotel for the breakfast and room service.
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A big girl once came up to me after a show and said I think you're fatist. I said No, no. I think you're fattest.
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My mum told me the best time to ask my dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I'd ever been given. I burst in through the bedroom door saying Can I have a new bike?. He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.
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I think being successful in comedy is being funny and making jokes - anything beyond that is the icing on the cake.
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TV's not the same buzz. If someone tells you three million people watched the show last week, that's good but, when you walk out in front of 1,000, you think, 'Oh my God, this had better be good'.
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I, of course, don't have an accent. This is just how things sound when they are pronounced properly.
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If we're all God's children, what's so special about Jesus?
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British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough. Use an ashtray!
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