Quote

I think they got it wrong with Saddam Hussein. They thought he had the A-Bomb. Instead he had a bomb.

Jimmy Carr

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Jimmy Carr
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: September 15
Comedian
Film Actor
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Writer
James Anthony Patrick Carr
Hussein
Bombs
Instead
Wrong
Thought
Think
Thinking
Bomb

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You never want to be the grumpy guy, although I do have quite a grumpy face.
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When I was a kid I had an imaginary friend and I used to think that he went everywhere with me, and that I could talk to him and that he could hear me, and that he could grant me wishes and stuff. And then I grew up, and I stopped going to church.
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I, of course, don't have an accent. This is just how things sound when they are pronounced properly.
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Recently my girlfriend asked me if I was having sex behind her back and I replied, Yes, who did you think it was?
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Jokes spread around the world and embed themselves in our shared culture the most resonant of them get lodged in the language in the same way as clichés or old wives' tales do.
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A big girl once came up to me after a show and said I think you're fatist. I said No, no. I think you're fattest.
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Remember to never answer a phone during sex, even if you hilariously answer with 'I can't talk now, I'm going into a tunnel'.
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I may be middle class, but I'm hard. 'Al dente', you could say.
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After a gig I always head back to the hotel, remembering granny's words of wisdom. I cancel the late-night pizza and watch the Jonathan Ross show instead.
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A surprising amount of my jokes sound very implausible but are true.
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When people come over to my house for dinner, I always have a vegetarian option. They can make do, or they can **** off!
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I was a Christian. I didn't want to have sex before marriage, I was a bit uptight and not very self-confident. I was a virgin until I was 26.
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The bigger the audience, the better with comedy.
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It had to be hammered home quite a bit because I didn't see any humour in my life at all.
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My girlfriend bought a cook book the other day called 'Cheap and easy vegetarian cooking'. Which is perfect for her, because not only is she vegetarian.
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I worry about my nan. If she's alone and falls, does she make a noise? I'm joking, she's dead.
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I think the idea that death is not the end, that your dog's just gone to live on the farm, is limiting. Thoughts like that prevent you from making the most of the time that you have.
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I was in love with the idea of being in love with a woman way before I was actually in love with one.
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TV's not the same buzz. If someone tells you three million people watched the show last week, that's good but, when you walk out in front of 1,000, you think, 'Oh my God, this had better be good'.
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Women were quite terrifying until I was older. I think that's partly down to confidence.
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