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I think they got it wrong with Saddam Hussein. They thought he had the A-Bomb. Instead he had a bomb.

Jimmy Carr

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Jimmy Carr
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: September 15
Comedian
Film Actor
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Writer
James Anthony Patrick Carr
Bombs
Instead
Wrong
Thought
Think
Thinking
Bomb
Hussein

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I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die. I would have thought the obvious one was 'Shout For Help'.
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Remember to never answer a phone during sex, even if you hilariously answer with 'I can't talk now, I'm going into a tunnel'.
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All comedians are a bit attention-seeking and I'm no different. Anyone with the audacity to want to be listened to for an hour and a half must be.
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Yes, I have this crazy honk of a laugh.
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I love those people who do story-telling and who ramble on, but I don't do that, I tell jokes - the sort of jokes that anyone really could tell in the pub.
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I had a survey done on my house. 8 out of 10 people said they really rather liked it
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I think being successful in comedy is being funny and making jokes - anything beyond that is the icing on the cake.
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Women were quite terrifying until I was older. I think that's partly down to confidence.
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My girlfriend bought a cook book the other day called 'Cheap and easy vegetarian cooking'. Which is perfect for her, because not only is she vegetarian.
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A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day. She said, 'Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?' I said, 'All right, but we won't get much done.'
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You go, well you can't joke about race. Well if you're from a different race and that's your experience of the world and you want to talk about that, then fine. Or you can't talk about disability, but disabled comics can talk about that.
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After a gig I always head back to the hotel, remembering granny's words of wisdom. I cancel the late-night pizza and watch the Jonathan Ross show instead.
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Cats have nine lives. Makes them ideal for experimentation.
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If I'm at home for the weekend - and that is almost never - I tend to get twitchy at about eight o'clock in the evening because my body clock is timed to go on stage. I don't know what to do with myself.
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Boxers don't have sex before a fight. Do you know why that is? They don't fancy each other.
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If we're all God's children, what's so special about Jesus?
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I did a gig in the U.S. once for the homeless. I said 'It's nice to see so many bums on seats.'
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Jokes spread around the world and embed themselves in our shared culture the most resonant of them get lodged in the language in the same way as clichés or old wives' tales do.
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I used to buy lottery tickets every week until I realised you could watch it on TV for nothing.
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Recently my girlfriend asked me if I was having sex behind her back and I replied, Yes, who did you think it was?
Jimmy Carr