Quote

Saying that you don't believe in magic but do believe in god is a bit like saying you don't have sex with dogs, except labradors.

Jimmy Carr

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Jimmy Carr
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: September 15
Comedian
Film Actor
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Writer
James Anthony Patrick Carr
Like
Dogs
Dog
Sex
Except
Magic
Bits
Saying
Believe

More quotes by Jimmy Carr

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Cats have nine lives. Makes them ideal for experimentation.
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I think they got it wrong with Saddam Hussein. They thought he had the A-Bomb. Instead he had a bomb.
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All comedians are a bit attention-seeking and I'm no different. Anyone with the audacity to want to be listened to for an hour and a half must be.
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I had a survey done on my house. 8 out of 10 people said they really rather liked it
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Jokes spread around the world and embed themselves in our shared culture the most resonant of them get lodged in the language in the same way as clichés or old wives' tales do.
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After a gig I always head back to the hotel, remembering granny's words of wisdom. I cancel the late-night pizza and watch the Jonathan Ross show instead.
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Eighteen years since the Chernobyl disaster. Is it just me surprized? Still no superheroes!
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When people come over to my house for dinner, I always have a vegetarian option. They can make do, or they can **** off!
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I used to buy lottery tickets every week until I realised you could watch it on TV for nothing.
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When I was a kid I had an imaginary friend and I used to think that he went everywhere with me, and that I could talk to him and that he could hear me, and that he could grant me wishes and stuff. And then I grew up, and I stopped going to church.
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I love those people who do story-telling and who ramble on, but I don't do that, I tell jokes - the sort of jokes that anyone really could tell in the pub.
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The bigger the audience, the better with comedy.
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I may be middle class, but I'm hard. 'Al dente', you could say.
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You never want to be the grumpy guy, although I do have quite a grumpy face.
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You go, well you can't joke about race. Well if you're from a different race and that's your experience of the world and you want to talk about that, then fine. Or you can't talk about disability, but disabled comics can talk about that.
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Staying in luxury hotels still gives me a kick, especially Oulton Hall in Yorkshire. I'd stay in a hotel for the breakfast and room service.
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TV's not the same buzz. If someone tells you three million people watched the show last week, that's good but, when you walk out in front of 1,000, you think, 'Oh my God, this had better be good'.
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Viagra has instructions: 'Keep away from children' - what kind of man do you think I am?
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Boxers don't have sex before a fight. Do you know why that is? They don't fancy each other.
Jimmy Carr
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My mum told me the best time to ask my dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I'd ever been given. I burst in through the bedroom door saying Can I have a new bike?. He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.
Jimmy Carr