Quote

Saying that you don't believe in magic but do believe in god is a bit like saying you don't have sex with dogs, except labradors.

Jimmy Carr

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Jimmy Carr
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: September 15
Comedian
Film Actor
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Writer
James Anthony Patrick Carr
Like
Dogs
Dog
Sex
Except
Magic
Bits
Saying
Believe

More quotes by Jimmy Carr

Image
I, of course, don't have an accent. This is just how things sound when they are pronounced properly.
Jimmy Carr
Image
If I'm at home for the weekend - and that is almost never - I tend to get twitchy at about eight o'clock in the evening because my body clock is timed to go on stage. I don't know what to do with myself.
Jimmy Carr
Image
When you eat a lot of spicy food, you can lose your taste. When I was in India last summer, I was listening to a lot of Michael Bolton.
Jimmy Carr
Image
British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough. Use an ashtray!
Jimmy Carr
Image
A surprising amount of my jokes sound very implausible but are true.
Jimmy Carr
Image
TV's not the same buzz. If someone tells you three million people watched the show last week, that's good but, when you walk out in front of 1,000, you think, 'Oh my God, this had better be good'.
Jimmy Carr
Image
You never want to be the grumpy guy, although I do have quite a grumpy face.
Jimmy Carr
Image
I didn't plan to be the rude middle-class comedian. You write a certain type of joke that you find funny, and mine happen to be often rude. Yes, it's juvenile, but that's me.
Jimmy Carr
Image
I don't see myself as offending people.
Jimmy Carr
Image
I worry about my nan. If she's alone and falls, does she make a noise? I'm joking, she's dead.
Jimmy Carr
Image
I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die. I would have thought the obvious one was 'Shout For Help'.
Jimmy Carr
Image
I was a Christian. I didn't want to have sex before marriage, I was a bit uptight and not very self-confident. I was a virgin until I was 26.
Jimmy Carr
Image
Eighteen years since the Chernobyl disaster. Is it just me surprized? Still no superheroes!
Jimmy Carr
Image
A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day. She said, 'Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?' I said, 'All right, but we won't get much done.'
Jimmy Carr
Image
Once I was doing a sponsored walk. In the end I managed to raise so much money, I could afford a taxi.
Jimmy Carr
Image
Yes, I have this crazy honk of a laugh.
Jimmy Carr
Image
I think they got it wrong with Saddam Hussein. They thought he had the A-Bomb. Instead he had a bomb.
Jimmy Carr
Image
I love those people who do story-telling and who ramble on, but I don't do that, I tell jokes - the sort of jokes that anyone really could tell in the pub.
Jimmy Carr
Image
Jokes spread around the world and embed themselves in our shared culture the most resonant of them get lodged in the language in the same way as clichés or old wives' tales do.
Jimmy Carr
Image
A big girl once came up to me after a show and said I think you're fatist. I said No, no. I think you're fattest.
Jimmy Carr