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It had to be hammered home quite a bit because I didn't see any humour in my life at all.

Jimmy Carr

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Jimmy Carr
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: September 15
Comedian
Film Actor
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Writer
James Anthony Patrick Carr
Didn
Home
Life
Hammered
Humour
Humor
Bits
Quite
Funny

More quotes by Jimmy Carr

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Recently my girlfriend asked me if I was having sex behind her back and I replied, Yes, who did you think it was?
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Put Smarties tubes on cats legs, make them walk like a robot.
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A big girl once came up to me after a show and said I think you're fatist. I said No, no. I think you're fattest.
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I did a gig in the U.S. once for the homeless. I said 'It's nice to see so many bums on seats.'
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I am trying to release endorphins here. I am not preaching to you - I am trying to make you laugh.
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The bigger the audience, the better with comedy.
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My girlfriend bought a cook book the other day called 'Cheap and easy vegetarian cooking'. Which is perfect for her, because not only is she vegetarian.
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You go, well you can't joke about race. Well if you're from a different race and that's your experience of the world and you want to talk about that, then fine. Or you can't talk about disability, but disabled comics can talk about that.
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I think being successful in comedy is being funny and making jokes - anything beyond that is the icing on the cake.
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If we're all God's children, what's so special about Jesus?
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A surprising amount of my jokes sound very implausible but are true.
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I don't see myself as offending people.
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I was in the South of France. I saw a Brownie on a school trip. She was holding up a book. It said on the front 'rough guide'. I thought: 'Yeah' she's not a looker.
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British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough. Use an ashtray!
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I love those people who do story-telling and who ramble on, but I don't do that, I tell jokes - the sort of jokes that anyone really could tell in the pub.
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I may be middle class, but I'm hard. 'Al dente', you could say.
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I used to buy lottery tickets every week until I realised you could watch it on TV for nothing.
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When people come over to my house for dinner, I always have a vegetarian option. They can make do, or they can **** off!
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I was in love with the idea of being in love with a woman way before I was actually in love with one.
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After a gig I always head back to the hotel, remembering granny's words of wisdom. I cancel the late-night pizza and watch the Jonathan Ross show instead.
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