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It had to be hammered home quite a bit because I didn't see any humour in my life at all.

Jimmy Carr

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Jimmy Carr
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: September 15
Comedian
Film Actor
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Writer
James Anthony Patrick Carr
Humour
Humor
Bits
Quite
Funny
Didn
Home
Life
Hammered

More quotes by Jimmy Carr

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I worry about my nan. If she's alone and falls, does she make a noise? I'm joking, she's dead.
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I may be middle class, but I'm hard. 'Al dente', you could say.
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A surprising amount of my jokes sound very implausible but are true.
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British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough. Use an ashtray!
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I had a survey done on my house. 8 out of 10 people said they really rather liked it
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Women were quite terrifying until I was older. I think that's partly down to confidence.
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But what's true about comedians is that we've all got a huge hole in our personality. In a room of 3,000 people, we're the one person facing in the opposite direction - yet we have this overwhelming desire to be liked.
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I like to write a joke without any fat on it.The shorter the better. I cater for people with ADD, basically.
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I did a gig in the U.S. once for the homeless. I said 'It's nice to see so many bums on seats.'
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Remember to never answer a phone during sex, even if you hilariously answer with 'I can't talk now, I'm going into a tunnel'.
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I was in love with the idea of being in love with a woman way before I was actually in love with one.
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My girlfriend bought a cook book the other day called 'Cheap and easy vegetarian cooking'. Which is perfect for her, because not only is she vegetarian.
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Put Smarties tubes on cats legs, make them walk like a robot.
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I was a Christian. I didn't want to have sex before marriage, I was a bit uptight and not very self-confident. I was a virgin until I was 26.
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Recently my girlfriend asked me if I was having sex behind her back and I replied, Yes, who did you think it was?
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I, of course, don't have an accent. This is just how things sound when they are pronounced properly.
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Once I was doing a sponsored walk. In the end I managed to raise so much money, I could afford a taxi.
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Boxers don't have sex before a fight. Do you know why that is? They don't fancy each other.
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The 2012 Olympics is going to cost £8 billion which is a lot of money. It'll probably bankrupt London. But you can't put a price on two bronze medals in cycling.
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Staying in luxury hotels still gives me a kick, especially Oulton Hall in Yorkshire. I'd stay in a hotel for the breakfast and room service.
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