Quote

Cats have nine lives. Makes them ideal for experimentation.

Jimmy Carr

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Jimmy Carr
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: September 15
Comedian
Film Actor
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Writer
James Anthony Patrick Carr
Funny
Lives
Experimentation
Makes
Cats
Ideal
Cat
Nine
Ideals
Humor

More quotes by Jimmy Carr

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My mum told me the best time to ask my dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I'd ever been given. I burst in through the bedroom door saying Can I have a new bike?. He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.
Jimmy Carr
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I used to buy lottery tickets every week until I realised you could watch it on TV for nothing.
Jimmy Carr
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Yes, I have this crazy honk of a laugh.
Jimmy Carr
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There was one time where I failed to perform sexually. My girlfriend said to me oh don't worry, it happens to a lot of guys. Ok, there are two things wrong with that. First of all who are these other guys?, and second of all if it's happening to more than one of us, don't you think it could be YOUR fault?
Jimmy Carr
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It's so clear cut with a comedian - you have that reflex action, whereby you laugh or you don't. And so you either love us or you simply cannot see why people are laughing.
Jimmy Carr
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British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough. Use an ashtray!
Jimmy Carr
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I, of course, don't have an accent. This is just how things sound when they are pronounced properly.
Jimmy Carr
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When people come over to my house for dinner, I always have a vegetarian option. They can make do, or they can **** off!
Jimmy Carr
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I did a gig in the U.S. once for the homeless. I said 'It's nice to see so many bums on seats.'
Jimmy Carr
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The 2012 Olympics is going to cost £8 billion which is a lot of money. It'll probably bankrupt London. But you can't put a price on two bronze medals in cycling.
Jimmy Carr
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I was a Christian. I didn't want to have sex before marriage, I was a bit uptight and not very self-confident. I was a virgin until I was 26.
Jimmy Carr
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I think being successful in comedy is being funny and making jokes - anything beyond that is the icing on the cake.
Jimmy Carr
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But what's true about comedians is that we've all got a huge hole in our personality. In a room of 3,000 people, we're the one person facing in the opposite direction - yet we have this overwhelming desire to be liked.
Jimmy Carr
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When I was a kid I had an imaginary friend and I used to think that he went everywhere with me, and that I could talk to him and that he could hear me, and that he could grant me wishes and stuff. And then I grew up, and I stopped going to church.
Jimmy Carr
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A big girl once came up to me after a show and said I think you're fatist. I said No, no. I think you're fattest.
Jimmy Carr
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I don't see myself as offending people.
Jimmy Carr
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I think the idea that death is not the end, that your dog's just gone to live on the farm, is limiting. Thoughts like that prevent you from making the most of the time that you have.
Jimmy Carr
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I like to write a joke without any fat on it.The shorter the better. I cater for people with ADD, basically.
Jimmy Carr
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Jokes spread around the world and embed themselves in our shared culture the most resonant of them get lodged in the language in the same way as clichés or old wives' tales do.
Jimmy Carr
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My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I can't help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen.
Jimmy Carr