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When you eat a lot of spicy food, you can lose your taste. When I was in India last summer, I was listening to a lot of Michael Bolton.
Jimmy Carr
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Jimmy Carr
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: September 15
Comedian
Film Actor
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Writer
James Anthony Patrick Carr
Lasts
India
Last
Summer
Funny
Taste
Listening
Humor
Lose
Bolton
Loses
Spicy
Food
Michael
More quotes by Jimmy Carr
Jokes spread around the world and embed themselves in our shared culture the most resonant of them get lodged in the language in the same way as clichés or old wives' tales do.
Jimmy Carr
British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough. Use an ashtray!
Jimmy Carr
Boxers don't have sex before a fight. Do you know why that is? They don't fancy each other.
Jimmy Carr
When people come over to my house for dinner, I always have a vegetarian option. They can make do, or they can **** off!
Jimmy Carr
I used to buy lottery tickets every week until I realised you could watch it on TV for nothing.
Jimmy Carr
I think they got it wrong with Saddam Hussein. They thought he had the A-Bomb. Instead he had a bomb.
Jimmy Carr
I am trying to release endorphins here. I am not preaching to you - I am trying to make you laugh.
Jimmy Carr
I don't see myself as offending people.
Jimmy Carr
Remember to never answer a phone during sex, even if you hilariously answer with 'I can't talk now, I'm going into a tunnel'.
Jimmy Carr
A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day. She said, 'Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?' I said, 'All right, but we won't get much done.'
Jimmy Carr
I didn't plan to be the rude middle-class comedian. You write a certain type of joke that you find funny, and mine happen to be often rude. Yes, it's juvenile, but that's me.
Jimmy Carr
My girlfriend bought a cook book the other day called 'Cheap and easy vegetarian cooking'. Which is perfect for her, because not only is she vegetarian.
Jimmy Carr
My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I can't help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen.
Jimmy Carr
Viagra has instructions: 'Keep away from children' - what kind of man do you think I am?
Jimmy Carr
TV's not the same buzz. If someone tells you three million people watched the show last week, that's good but, when you walk out in front of 1,000, you think, 'Oh my God, this had better be good'.
Jimmy Carr
I, of course, don't have an accent. This is just how things sound when they are pronounced properly.
Jimmy Carr
My mum told me the best time to ask my dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I'd ever been given. I burst in through the bedroom door saying Can I have a new bike?. He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.
Jimmy Carr
I was in love with the idea of being in love with a woman way before I was actually in love with one.
Jimmy Carr
Yes, I have this crazy honk of a laugh.
Jimmy Carr
I like to write a joke without any fat on it.The shorter the better. I cater for people with ADD, basically.
Jimmy Carr
