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My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I can't help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen.

Jimmy Carr

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Jimmy Carr
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: September 15
Comedian
Film Actor
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Writer
James Anthony Patrick Carr
Better
Dying
Would
Humor
Thinking
Help
Funny
Family
Wish
Helping
Oxygen
Around
Dad

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Jokes spread around the world and embed themselves in our shared culture the most resonant of them get lodged in the language in the same way as clichés or old wives' tales do.
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A big girl once came up to me after a show and said I think you're fatist. I said No, no. I think you're fattest.
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Yes, I have this crazy honk of a laugh.
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Saying that you don't believe in magic but do believe in god is a bit like saying you don't have sex with dogs, except labradors.
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I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die. I would have thought the obvious one was 'Shout For Help'.
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You go, well you can't joke about race. Well if you're from a different race and that's your experience of the world and you want to talk about that, then fine. Or you can't talk about disability, but disabled comics can talk about that.
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After a gig I always head back to the hotel, remembering granny's words of wisdom. I cancel the late-night pizza and watch the Jonathan Ross show instead.
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The bigger the audience, the better with comedy.
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But what's true about comedians is that we've all got a huge hole in our personality. In a room of 3,000 people, we're the one person facing in the opposite direction - yet we have this overwhelming desire to be liked.
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I used to buy lottery tickets every week until I realised you could watch it on TV for nothing.
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All comedians are a bit attention-seeking and I'm no different. Anyone with the audacity to want to be listened to for an hour and a half must be.
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I was a Christian. I didn't want to have sex before marriage, I was a bit uptight and not very self-confident. I was a virgin until I was 26.
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When I was a kid I had an imaginary friend and I used to think that he went everywhere with me, and that I could talk to him and that he could hear me, and that he could grant me wishes and stuff. And then I grew up, and I stopped going to church.
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I was in the South of France. I saw a Brownie on a school trip. She was holding up a book. It said on the front 'rough guide'. I thought: 'Yeah' she's not a looker.
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It's so clear cut with a comedian - you have that reflex action, whereby you laugh or you don't. And so you either love us or you simply cannot see why people are laughing.
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I worry about my nan. If she's alone and falls, does she make a noise? I'm joking, she's dead.
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When you eat a lot of spicy food, you can lose your taste. When I was in India last summer, I was listening to a lot of Michael Bolton.
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The 2012 Olympics is going to cost £8 billion which is a lot of money. It'll probably bankrupt London. But you can't put a price on two bronze medals in cycling.
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A surprising amount of my jokes sound very implausible but are true.
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I am trying to release endorphins here. I am not preaching to you - I am trying to make you laugh.
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