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Eighteen years since the Chernobyl disaster. Is it just me surprized? Still no superheroes!

Jimmy Carr

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Jimmy Carr
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: September 15
Comedian
Film Actor
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Writer
James Anthony Patrick Carr
Disaster
Since
Stills
Still
Years
Chernobyl
Eighteen
Superhero

More quotes by Jimmy Carr

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Recently my girlfriend asked me if I was having sex behind her back and I replied, Yes, who did you think it was?
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When you eat a lot of spicy food, you can lose your taste. When I was in India last summer, I was listening to a lot of Michael Bolton.
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I think they got it wrong with Saddam Hussein. They thought he had the A-Bomb. Instead he had a bomb.
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A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day. She said, 'Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?' I said, 'All right, but we won't get much done.'
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I think the idea that death is not the end, that your dog's just gone to live on the farm, is limiting. Thoughts like that prevent you from making the most of the time that you have.
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I don't see myself as offending people.
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I worry about my nan. If she's alone and falls, does she make a noise? I'm joking, she's dead.
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Viagra has instructions: 'Keep away from children' - what kind of man do you think I am?
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My girlfriend bought a cook book the other day called 'Cheap and easy vegetarian cooking'. Which is perfect for her, because not only is she vegetarian.
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If I'm at home for the weekend - and that is almost never - I tend to get twitchy at about eight o'clock in the evening because my body clock is timed to go on stage. I don't know what to do with myself.
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Put Smarties tubes on cats legs, make them walk like a robot.
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I may be middle class, but I'm hard. 'Al dente', you could say.
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I used to buy lottery tickets every week until I realised you could watch it on TV for nothing.
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When people come over to my house for dinner, I always have a vegetarian option. They can make do, or they can **** off!
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My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I can't help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen.
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I, of course, don't have an accent. This is just how things sound when they are pronounced properly.
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Cats have nine lives. Makes them ideal for experimentation.
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If we're all God's children, what's so special about Jesus?
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I was a Christian. I didn't want to have sex before marriage, I was a bit uptight and not very self-confident. I was a virgin until I was 26.
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I love those people who do story-telling and who ramble on, but I don't do that, I tell jokes - the sort of jokes that anyone really could tell in the pub.
Jimmy Carr