Quote

I love those people who do story-telling and who ramble on, but I don't do that, I tell jokes - the sort of jokes that anyone really could tell in the pub.

Jimmy Carr

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Jimmy Carr
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: September 15
Comedian
Film Actor
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Writer
James Anthony Patrick Carr
Love
Jokes
People
Telling
Sort
Anyone
Story
Tell
Stories
Ramble
Really
Pubs

More quotes by Jimmy Carr

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Cats have nine lives. Makes them ideal for experimentation.
Jimmy Carr
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I, of course, don't have an accent. This is just how things sound when they are pronounced properly.
Jimmy Carr
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I like to write a joke without any fat on it.The shorter the better. I cater for people with ADD, basically.
Jimmy Carr
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I worry about my nan. If she's alone and falls, does she make a noise? I'm joking, she's dead.
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You go, well you can't joke about race. Well if you're from a different race and that's your experience of the world and you want to talk about that, then fine. Or you can't talk about disability, but disabled comics can talk about that.
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I am trying to release endorphins here. I am not preaching to you - I am trying to make you laugh.
Jimmy Carr
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I was a Christian. I didn't want to have sex before marriage, I was a bit uptight and not very self-confident. I was a virgin until I was 26.
Jimmy Carr
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I had a survey done on my house. 8 out of 10 people said they really rather liked it
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I didn't plan to be the rude middle-class comedian. You write a certain type of joke that you find funny, and mine happen to be often rude. Yes, it's juvenile, but that's me.
Jimmy Carr
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When I was a kid I had an imaginary friend and I used to think that he went everywhere with me, and that I could talk to him and that he could hear me, and that he could grant me wishes and stuff. And then I grew up, and I stopped going to church.
Jimmy Carr
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When you eat a lot of spicy food, you can lose your taste. When I was in India last summer, I was listening to a lot of Michael Bolton.
Jimmy Carr
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If I'm at home for the weekend - and that is almost never - I tend to get twitchy at about eight o'clock in the evening because my body clock is timed to go on stage. I don't know what to do with myself.
Jimmy Carr
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When people come over to my house for dinner, I always have a vegetarian option. They can make do, or they can **** off!
Jimmy Carr
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But what's true about comedians is that we've all got a huge hole in our personality. In a room of 3,000 people, we're the one person facing in the opposite direction - yet we have this overwhelming desire to be liked.
Jimmy Carr
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I used to buy lottery tickets every week until I realised you could watch it on TV for nothing.
Jimmy Carr
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I think being successful in comedy is being funny and making jokes - anything beyond that is the icing on the cake.
Jimmy Carr
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Eighteen years since the Chernobyl disaster. Is it just me surprized? Still no superheroes!
Jimmy Carr
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British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough. Use an ashtray!
Jimmy Carr
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Put Smarties tubes on cats legs, make them walk like a robot.
Jimmy Carr
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Recently my girlfriend asked me if I was having sex behind her back and I replied, Yes, who did you think it was?
Jimmy Carr