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TV's not the same buzz. If someone tells you three million people watched the show last week, that's good but, when you walk out in front of 1,000, you think, 'Oh my God, this had better be good'.

Jimmy Carr

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Jimmy Carr
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: September 15
Comedian
Film Actor
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Writer
James Anthony Patrick Carr
Think
Lasts
Tells
Thinking
Last
Million
People
Show
Fronts
Shows
Front
Three
Walk
Someone
Walks
Better
Week
Buzz
Good
Millions
Watched

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A surprising amount of my jokes sound very implausible but are true.
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I was in love with the idea of being in love with a woman way before I was actually in love with one.
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Viagra has instructions: 'Keep away from children' - what kind of man do you think I am?
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I think they got it wrong with Saddam Hussein. They thought he had the A-Bomb. Instead he had a bomb.
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My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I can't help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen.
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Recently my girlfriend asked me if I was having sex behind her back and I replied, Yes, who did you think it was?
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I like to write a joke without any fat on it.The shorter the better. I cater for people with ADD, basically.
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I am trying to release endorphins here. I am not preaching to you - I am trying to make you laugh.
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I did a gig in the U.S. once for the homeless. I said 'It's nice to see so many bums on seats.'
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Eighteen years since the Chernobyl disaster. Is it just me surprized? Still no superheroes!
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Boxers don't have sex before a fight. Do you know why that is? They don't fancy each other.
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I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die. I would have thought the obvious one was 'Shout For Help'.
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I was in the South of France. I saw a Brownie on a school trip. She was holding up a book. It said on the front 'rough guide'. I thought: 'Yeah' she's not a looker.
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Jokes spread around the world and embed themselves in our shared culture the most resonant of them get lodged in the language in the same way as clichés or old wives' tales do.
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It had to be hammered home quite a bit because I didn't see any humour in my life at all.
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After a gig I always head back to the hotel, remembering granny's words of wisdom. I cancel the late-night pizza and watch the Jonathan Ross show instead.
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I love those people who do story-telling and who ramble on, but I don't do that, I tell jokes - the sort of jokes that anyone really could tell in the pub.
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But what's true about comedians is that we've all got a huge hole in our personality. In a room of 3,000 people, we're the one person facing in the opposite direction - yet we have this overwhelming desire to be liked.
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All comedians are a bit attention-seeking and I'm no different. Anyone with the audacity to want to be listened to for an hour and a half must be.
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I was a Christian. I didn't want to have sex before marriage, I was a bit uptight and not very self-confident. I was a virgin until I was 26.
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