Quote

If I'm at home for the weekend - and that is almost never - I tend to get twitchy at about eight o'clock in the evening because my body clock is timed to go on stage. I don't know what to do with myself.

Jimmy Carr

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Jimmy Carr
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: September 15
Comedian
Film Actor
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Writer
James Anthony Patrick Carr
Home
Timed
Body
Weekend
Never
Clock
Evening
Tend
Eight
Stage
Almost
Twitchy

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After a gig I always head back to the hotel, remembering granny's words of wisdom. I cancel the late-night pizza and watch the Jonathan Ross show instead.
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Jokes spread around the world and embed themselves in our shared culture the most resonant of them get lodged in the language in the same way as clichés or old wives' tales do.
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It's so clear cut with a comedian - you have that reflex action, whereby you laugh or you don't. And so you either love us or you simply cannot see why people are laughing.
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Staying in luxury hotels still gives me a kick, especially Oulton Hall in Yorkshire. I'd stay in a hotel for the breakfast and room service.
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When people come over to my house for dinner, I always have a vegetarian option. They can make do, or they can **** off!
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I had a survey done on my house. 8 out of 10 people said they really rather liked it
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I think being successful in comedy is being funny and making jokes - anything beyond that is the icing on the cake.
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Once I was doing a sponsored walk. In the end I managed to raise so much money, I could afford a taxi.
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My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I can't help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen.
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Remember to never answer a phone during sex, even if you hilariously answer with 'I can't talk now, I'm going into a tunnel'.
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Viagra has instructions: 'Keep away from children' - what kind of man do you think I am?
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When I was a kid I had an imaginary friend and I used to think that he went everywhere with me, and that I could talk to him and that he could hear me, and that he could grant me wishes and stuff. And then I grew up, and I stopped going to church.
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A big girl once came up to me after a show and said I think you're fatist. I said No, no. I think you're fattest.
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Eighteen years since the Chernobyl disaster. Is it just me surprized? Still no superheroes!
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When you eat a lot of spicy food, you can lose your taste. When I was in India last summer, I was listening to a lot of Michael Bolton.
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I don't see myself as offending people.
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I was in love with the idea of being in love with a woman way before I was actually in love with one.
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I like to write a joke without any fat on it.The shorter the better. I cater for people with ADD, basically.
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