Quote

If I'm at home for the weekend - and that is almost never - I tend to get twitchy at about eight o'clock in the evening because my body clock is timed to go on stage. I don't know what to do with myself.

Jimmy Carr

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Jimmy Carr
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: September 15
Comedian
Film Actor
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Writer
James Anthony Patrick Carr
Never
Clock
Evening
Tend
Eight
Stage
Almost
Twitchy
Home
Timed
Body
Weekend

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I like to write a joke without any fat on it.The shorter the better. I cater for people with ADD, basically.
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Women were quite terrifying until I was older. I think that's partly down to confidence.
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But what's true about comedians is that we've all got a huge hole in our personality. In a room of 3,000 people, we're the one person facing in the opposite direction - yet we have this overwhelming desire to be liked.
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I am trying to release endorphins here. I am not preaching to you - I am trying to make you laugh.
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I didn't plan to be the rude middle-class comedian. You write a certain type of joke that you find funny, and mine happen to be often rude. Yes, it's juvenile, but that's me.
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If we're all God's children, what's so special about Jesus?
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You never want to be the grumpy guy, although I do have quite a grumpy face.
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Jokes spread around the world and embed themselves in our shared culture the most resonant of them get lodged in the language in the same way as clichés or old wives' tales do.
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Put Smarties tubes on cats legs, make them walk like a robot.
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Yes, I have this crazy honk of a laugh.
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It had to be hammered home quite a bit because I didn't see any humour in my life at all.
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I think the idea that death is not the end, that your dog's just gone to live on the farm, is limiting. Thoughts like that prevent you from making the most of the time that you have.
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I, of course, don't have an accent. This is just how things sound when they are pronounced properly.
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My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I can't help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen.
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Remember to never answer a phone during sex, even if you hilariously answer with 'I can't talk now, I'm going into a tunnel'.
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Staying in luxury hotels still gives me a kick, especially Oulton Hall in Yorkshire. I'd stay in a hotel for the breakfast and room service.
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I may be middle class, but I'm hard. 'Al dente', you could say.
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When you eat a lot of spicy food, you can lose your taste. When I was in India last summer, I was listening to a lot of Michael Bolton.
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There was one time where I failed to perform sexually. My girlfriend said to me oh don't worry, it happens to a lot of guys. Ok, there are two things wrong with that. First of all who are these other guys?, and second of all if it's happening to more than one of us, don't you think it could be YOUR fault?
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