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After a gig I always head back to the hotel, remembering granny's words of wisdom. I cancel the late-night pizza and watch the Jonathan Ross show instead.

Jimmy Carr

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Jimmy Carr
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: September 15
Comedian
Film Actor
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Writer
James Anthony Patrick Carr
Shows
Watch
Cancel
Remember
Late
Jonathan
Back
Instead
Granny
Always
Head
Gigs
Wisdom
Pizza
Show
Remembering
Words
Hotel
Night
Watches
Ross

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My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I can't help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen.
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My mum told me the best time to ask my dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I'd ever been given. I burst in through the bedroom door saying Can I have a new bike?. He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.
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Remember to never answer a phone during sex, even if you hilariously answer with 'I can't talk now, I'm going into a tunnel'.
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Eighteen years since the Chernobyl disaster. Is it just me surprized? Still no superheroes!
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When you eat a lot of spicy food, you can lose your taste. When I was in India last summer, I was listening to a lot of Michael Bolton.
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I had a survey done on my house. 8 out of 10 people said they really rather liked it
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I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die. I would have thought the obvious one was 'Shout For Help'.
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Yes, I have this crazy honk of a laugh.
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Staying in luxury hotels still gives me a kick, especially Oulton Hall in Yorkshire. I'd stay in a hotel for the breakfast and room service.
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I am trying to release endorphins here. I am not preaching to you - I am trying to make you laugh.
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I love those people who do story-telling and who ramble on, but I don't do that, I tell jokes - the sort of jokes that anyone really could tell in the pub.
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I didn't plan to be the rude middle-class comedian. You write a certain type of joke that you find funny, and mine happen to be often rude. Yes, it's juvenile, but that's me.
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I did a gig in the U.S. once for the homeless. I said 'It's nice to see so many bums on seats.'
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