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Women were quite terrifying until I was older. I think that's partly down to confidence.
Jimmy Carr
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Jimmy Carr
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: September 15
Comedian
Film Actor
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Writer
James Anthony Patrick Carr
Women
Think
Thinking
Terrifying
Partly
Older
Confidence
Quite
More quotes by Jimmy Carr
I did a gig in the U.S. once for the homeless. I said 'It's nice to see so many bums on seats.'
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My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I can't help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen.
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I like to write a joke without any fat on it.The shorter the better. I cater for people with ADD, basically.
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The 2012 Olympics is going to cost £8 billion which is a lot of money. It'll probably bankrupt London. But you can't put a price on two bronze medals in cycling.
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You never want to be the grumpy guy, although I do have quite a grumpy face.
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It's so clear cut with a comedian - you have that reflex action, whereby you laugh or you don't. And so you either love us or you simply cannot see why people are laughing.
Jimmy Carr
Boxers don't have sex before a fight. Do you know why that is? They don't fancy each other.
Jimmy Carr
After a gig I always head back to the hotel, remembering granny's words of wisdom. I cancel the late-night pizza and watch the Jonathan Ross show instead.
Jimmy Carr
A big girl once came up to me after a show and said I think you're fatist. I said No, no. I think you're fattest.
Jimmy Carr
Eighteen years since the Chernobyl disaster. Is it just me surprized? Still no superheroes!
Jimmy Carr
You go, well you can't joke about race. Well if you're from a different race and that's your experience of the world and you want to talk about that, then fine. Or you can't talk about disability, but disabled comics can talk about that.
Jimmy Carr
Once I was doing a sponsored walk. In the end I managed to raise so much money, I could afford a taxi.
Jimmy Carr
The bigger the audience, the better with comedy.
Jimmy Carr
I had a survey done on my house. 8 out of 10 people said they really rather liked it
Jimmy Carr
Recently my girlfriend asked me if I was having sex behind her back and I replied, Yes, who did you think it was?
Jimmy Carr
When you eat a lot of spicy food, you can lose your taste. When I was in India last summer, I was listening to a lot of Michael Bolton.
Jimmy Carr
I was in love with the idea of being in love with a woman way before I was actually in love with one.
Jimmy Carr
A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day. She said, 'Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?' I said, 'All right, but we won't get much done.'
Jimmy Carr
Staying in luxury hotels still gives me a kick, especially Oulton Hall in Yorkshire. I'd stay in a hotel for the breakfast and room service.
Jimmy Carr
There was one time where I failed to perform sexually. My girlfriend said to me oh don't worry, it happens to a lot of guys. Ok, there are two things wrong with that. First of all who are these other guys?, and second of all if it's happening to more than one of us, don't you think it could be YOUR fault?
Jimmy Carr
