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Women were quite terrifying until I was older. I think that's partly down to confidence.
Jimmy Carr
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Jimmy Carr
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: September 15
Comedian
Film Actor
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Writer
James Anthony Patrick Carr
Terrifying
Partly
Older
Confidence
Quite
Women
Think
Thinking
More quotes by Jimmy Carr
My mum told me the best time to ask my dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I'd ever been given. I burst in through the bedroom door saying Can I have a new bike?. He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.
Jimmy Carr
I think the idea that death is not the end, that your dog's just gone to live on the farm, is limiting. Thoughts like that prevent you from making the most of the time that you have.
Jimmy Carr
Viagra has instructions: 'Keep away from children' - what kind of man do you think I am?
Jimmy Carr
Boxers don't have sex before a fight. Do you know why that is? They don't fancy each other.
Jimmy Carr
Saying that you don't believe in magic but do believe in god is a bit like saying you don't have sex with dogs, except labradors.
Jimmy Carr
But what's true about comedians is that we've all got a huge hole in our personality. In a room of 3,000 people, we're the one person facing in the opposite direction - yet we have this overwhelming desire to be liked.
Jimmy Carr
Remember to never answer a phone during sex, even if you hilariously answer with 'I can't talk now, I'm going into a tunnel'.
Jimmy Carr
I, of course, don't have an accent. This is just how things sound when they are pronounced properly.
Jimmy Carr
If we're all God's children, what's so special about Jesus?
Jimmy Carr
You go, well you can't joke about race. Well if you're from a different race and that's your experience of the world and you want to talk about that, then fine. Or you can't talk about disability, but disabled comics can talk about that.
Jimmy Carr
The bigger the audience, the better with comedy.
Jimmy Carr
When you eat a lot of spicy food, you can lose your taste. When I was in India last summer, I was listening to a lot of Michael Bolton.
Jimmy Carr
I was in love with the idea of being in love with a woman way before I was actually in love with one.
Jimmy Carr
Put Smarties tubes on cats legs, make them walk like a robot.
Jimmy Carr
Staying in luxury hotels still gives me a kick, especially Oulton Hall in Yorkshire. I'd stay in a hotel for the breakfast and room service.
Jimmy Carr
I may be middle class, but I'm hard. 'Al dente', you could say.
Jimmy Carr
After a gig I always head back to the hotel, remembering granny's words of wisdom. I cancel the late-night pizza and watch the Jonathan Ross show instead.
Jimmy Carr
My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I can't help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen.
Jimmy Carr
Yes, I have this crazy honk of a laugh.
Jimmy Carr
I worry about my nan. If she's alone and falls, does she make a noise? I'm joking, she's dead.
Jimmy Carr