Quote

I was in the South of France. I saw a Brownie on a school trip. She was holding up a book. It said on the front 'rough guide'. I thought: 'Yeah' she's not a looker.

Jimmy Carr

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Jimmy Carr
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: September 15
Comedian
Film Actor
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Writer
James Anthony Patrick Carr
Saws
Rough
Thought
Holding
School
Guides
Book
France
Looker
Fronts
Brownie
South
Brownies
Front
Trip
Yeah
Guide

More quotes by Jimmy Carr

Image
But what's true about comedians is that we've all got a huge hole in our personality. In a room of 3,000 people, we're the one person facing in the opposite direction - yet we have this overwhelming desire to be liked.
Jimmy Carr
Image
Eighteen years since the Chernobyl disaster. Is it just me surprized? Still no superheroes!
Jimmy Carr
Image
There was one time where I failed to perform sexually. My girlfriend said to me oh don't worry, it happens to a lot of guys. Ok, there are two things wrong with that. First of all who are these other guys?, and second of all if it's happening to more than one of us, don't you think it could be YOUR fault?
Jimmy Carr
Image
I didn't plan to be the rude middle-class comedian. You write a certain type of joke that you find funny, and mine happen to be often rude. Yes, it's juvenile, but that's me.
Jimmy Carr
Image
A big girl once came up to me after a show and said I think you're fatist. I said No, no. I think you're fattest.
Jimmy Carr
Image
When people come over to my house for dinner, I always have a vegetarian option. They can make do, or they can **** off!
Jimmy Carr
Image
My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I can't help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen.
Jimmy Carr
Image
Boxers don't have sex before a fight. Do you know why that is? They don't fancy each other.
Jimmy Carr
Image
I had a survey done on my house. 8 out of 10 people said they really rather liked it
Jimmy Carr
Image
Yes, I have this crazy honk of a laugh.
Jimmy Carr
Image
Remember to never answer a phone during sex, even if you hilariously answer with 'I can't talk now, I'm going into a tunnel'.
Jimmy Carr
Image
I think the idea that death is not the end, that your dog's just gone to live on the farm, is limiting. Thoughts like that prevent you from making the most of the time that you have.
Jimmy Carr
Image
A surprising amount of my jokes sound very implausible but are true.
Jimmy Carr
Image
If I'm at home for the weekend - and that is almost never - I tend to get twitchy at about eight o'clock in the evening because my body clock is timed to go on stage. I don't know what to do with myself.
Jimmy Carr
Image
I was a Christian. I didn't want to have sex before marriage, I was a bit uptight and not very self-confident. I was a virgin until I was 26.
Jimmy Carr
Image
I may be middle class, but I'm hard. 'Al dente', you could say.
Jimmy Carr
Image
The 2012 Olympics is going to cost £8 billion which is a lot of money. It'll probably bankrupt London. But you can't put a price on two bronze medals in cycling.
Jimmy Carr
Image
Cats have nine lives. Makes them ideal for experimentation.
Jimmy Carr
Image
Once I was doing a sponsored walk. In the end I managed to raise so much money, I could afford a taxi.
Jimmy Carr
Image
Jokes spread around the world and embed themselves in our shared culture the most resonant of them get lodged in the language in the same way as clichés or old wives' tales do.
Jimmy Carr