Quote

I was in the South of France. I saw a Brownie on a school trip. She was holding up a book. It said on the front 'rough guide'. I thought: 'Yeah' she's not a looker.

Jimmy Carr

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Jimmy Carr
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: September 15
Comedian
Film Actor
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Writer
James Anthony Patrick Carr
Yeah
Guide
Saws
Rough
Thought
Holding
School
Guides
Book
France
Looker
Fronts
Brownie
South
Brownies
Front
Trip

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I am trying to release endorphins here. I am not preaching to you - I am trying to make you laugh.
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You go, well you can't joke about race. Well if you're from a different race and that's your experience of the world and you want to talk about that, then fine. Or you can't talk about disability, but disabled comics can talk about that.
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I love those people who do story-telling and who ramble on, but I don't do that, I tell jokes - the sort of jokes that anyone really could tell in the pub.
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When you eat a lot of spicy food, you can lose your taste. When I was in India last summer, I was listening to a lot of Michael Bolton.
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There was one time where I failed to perform sexually. My girlfriend said to me oh don't worry, it happens to a lot of guys. Ok, there are two things wrong with that. First of all who are these other guys?, and second of all if it's happening to more than one of us, don't you think it could be YOUR fault?
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I think being successful in comedy is being funny and making jokes - anything beyond that is the icing on the cake.
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I was in love with the idea of being in love with a woman way before I was actually in love with one.
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I didn't plan to be the rude middle-class comedian. You write a certain type of joke that you find funny, and mine happen to be often rude. Yes, it's juvenile, but that's me.
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Eighteen years since the Chernobyl disaster. Is it just me surprized? Still no superheroes!
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The bigger the audience, the better with comedy.
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If I'm at home for the weekend - and that is almost never - I tend to get twitchy at about eight o'clock in the evening because my body clock is timed to go on stage. I don't know what to do with myself.
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I, of course, don't have an accent. This is just how things sound when they are pronounced properly.
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I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die. I would have thought the obvious one was 'Shout For Help'.
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Yes, I have this crazy honk of a laugh.
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TV's not the same buzz. If someone tells you three million people watched the show last week, that's good but, when you walk out in front of 1,000, you think, 'Oh my God, this had better be good'.
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I think they got it wrong with Saddam Hussein. They thought he had the A-Bomb. Instead he had a bomb.
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I did a gig in the U.S. once for the homeless. I said 'It's nice to see so many bums on seats.'
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Cats have nine lives. Makes them ideal for experimentation.
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Once I was doing a sponsored walk. In the end I managed to raise so much money, I could afford a taxi.
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A big girl once came up to me after a show and said I think you're fatist. I said No, no. I think you're fattest.
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