Quote

British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough. Use an ashtray!

Jimmy Carr

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Jimmy Carr
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: September 15
Comedian
Film Actor
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Writer
James Anthony Patrick Carr
Comedy
Cigarette
Funny
Scientists
Use
Fairs
Enough
Fair
Children
Harm
Ashtray
Scientist
Ashtrays
British
Cigarettes
Humor
Demonstrated

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My mum told me the best time to ask my dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I'd ever been given. I burst in through the bedroom door saying Can I have a new bike?. He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.
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I used to buy lottery tickets every week until I realised you could watch it on TV for nothing.
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I was in love with the idea of being in love with a woman way before I was actually in love with one.
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Viagra has instructions: 'Keep away from children' - what kind of man do you think I am?
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I didn't plan to be the rude middle-class comedian. You write a certain type of joke that you find funny, and mine happen to be often rude. Yes, it's juvenile, but that's me.
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I don't see myself as offending people.
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I think the idea that death is not the end, that your dog's just gone to live on the farm, is limiting. Thoughts like that prevent you from making the most of the time that you have.
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But what's true about comedians is that we've all got a huge hole in our personality. In a room of 3,000 people, we're the one person facing in the opposite direction - yet we have this overwhelming desire to be liked.
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