Quote

I did a gig in the U.S. once for the homeless. I said 'It's nice to see so many bums on seats.'

Jimmy Carr

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Jimmy Carr
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: September 15
Comedian
Film Actor
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Writer
James Anthony Patrick Carr
Comedy
Nice
Funny
Many
Bums
Gigs
Homeless
Seats
Humor

More quotes by Jimmy Carr

Image
I think they got it wrong with Saddam Hussein. They thought he had the A-Bomb. Instead he had a bomb.
Jimmy Carr
Image
Once I was doing a sponsored walk. In the end I managed to raise so much money, I could afford a taxi.
Jimmy Carr
Image
A big girl once came up to me after a show and said I think you're fatist. I said No, no. I think you're fattest.
Jimmy Carr
Image
I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die. I would have thought the obvious one was 'Shout For Help'.
Jimmy Carr
Image
The bigger the audience, the better with comedy.
Jimmy Carr
Image
My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I can't help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen.
Jimmy Carr
Image
I worry about my nan. If she's alone and falls, does she make a noise? I'm joking, she's dead.
Jimmy Carr
Image
I think being successful in comedy is being funny and making jokes - anything beyond that is the icing on the cake.
Jimmy Carr
Image
When I was a kid I had an imaginary friend and I used to think that he went everywhere with me, and that I could talk to him and that he could hear me, and that he could grant me wishes and stuff. And then I grew up, and I stopped going to church.
Jimmy Carr
Image
Eighteen years since the Chernobyl disaster. Is it just me surprized? Still no superheroes!
Jimmy Carr
Image
Viagra has instructions: 'Keep away from children' - what kind of man do you think I am?
Jimmy Carr
Image
If I'm at home for the weekend - and that is almost never - I tend to get twitchy at about eight o'clock in the evening because my body clock is timed to go on stage. I don't know what to do with myself.
Jimmy Carr
Image
Saying that you don't believe in magic but do believe in god is a bit like saying you don't have sex with dogs, except labradors.
Jimmy Carr
Image
My mum told me the best time to ask my dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I'd ever been given. I burst in through the bedroom door saying Can I have a new bike?. He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.
Jimmy Carr
Image
Remember to never answer a phone during sex, even if you hilariously answer with 'I can't talk now, I'm going into a tunnel'.
Jimmy Carr
Image
It's so clear cut with a comedian - you have that reflex action, whereby you laugh or you don't. And so you either love us or you simply cannot see why people are laughing.
Jimmy Carr
Image
It had to be hammered home quite a bit because I didn't see any humour in my life at all.
Jimmy Carr
Image
I don't see myself as offending people.
Jimmy Carr
Image
All comedians are a bit attention-seeking and I'm no different. Anyone with the audacity to want to be listened to for an hour and a half must be.
Jimmy Carr
Image
You never want to be the grumpy guy, although I do have quite a grumpy face.
Jimmy Carr