Quote

Boxers don't have sex before a fight. Do you know why that is? They don't fancy each other.

Jimmy Carr

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Jimmy Carr
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: September 15
Comedian
Film Actor
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Writer
James Anthony Patrick Carr
Humor
Fight
Comedy
Fighting
Funny
Boxers
Fancy
Sex

More quotes by Jimmy Carr

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I, of course, don't have an accent. This is just how things sound when they are pronounced properly.
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I didn't plan to be the rude middle-class comedian. You write a certain type of joke that you find funny, and mine happen to be often rude. Yes, it's juvenile, but that's me.
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Women were quite terrifying until I was older. I think that's partly down to confidence.
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I think being successful in comedy is being funny and making jokes - anything beyond that is the icing on the cake.
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All comedians are a bit attention-seeking and I'm no different. Anyone with the audacity to want to be listened to for an hour and a half must be.
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I did a gig in the U.S. once for the homeless. I said 'It's nice to see so many bums on seats.'
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But what's true about comedians is that we've all got a huge hole in our personality. In a room of 3,000 people, we're the one person facing in the opposite direction - yet we have this overwhelming desire to be liked.
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If we're all God's children, what's so special about Jesus?
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My girlfriend bought a cook book the other day called 'Cheap and easy vegetarian cooking'. Which is perfect for her, because not only is she vegetarian.
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If I'm at home for the weekend - and that is almost never - I tend to get twitchy at about eight o'clock in the evening because my body clock is timed to go on stage. I don't know what to do with myself.
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I was in love with the idea of being in love with a woman way before I was actually in love with one.
Jimmy Carr
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You never want to be the grumpy guy, although I do have quite a grumpy face.
Jimmy Carr
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I worry about my nan. If she's alone and falls, does she make a noise? I'm joking, she's dead.
Jimmy Carr
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TV's not the same buzz. If someone tells you three million people watched the show last week, that's good but, when you walk out in front of 1,000, you think, 'Oh my God, this had better be good'.
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I think they got it wrong with Saddam Hussein. They thought he had the A-Bomb. Instead he had a bomb.
Jimmy Carr
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When people come over to my house for dinner, I always have a vegetarian option. They can make do, or they can **** off!
Jimmy Carr
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Viagra has instructions: 'Keep away from children' - what kind of man do you think I am?
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After a gig I always head back to the hotel, remembering granny's words of wisdom. I cancel the late-night pizza and watch the Jonathan Ross show instead.
Jimmy Carr
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When I was a kid I had an imaginary friend and I used to think that he went everywhere with me, and that I could talk to him and that he could hear me, and that he could grant me wishes and stuff. And then I grew up, and I stopped going to church.
Jimmy Carr
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When you eat a lot of spicy food, you can lose your taste. When I was in India last summer, I was listening to a lot of Michael Bolton.
Jimmy Carr