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Boxers don't have sex before a fight. Do you know why that is? They don't fancy each other.

Jimmy Carr

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Jimmy Carr
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: September 15
Comedian
Film Actor
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Writer
James Anthony Patrick Carr
Funny
Boxers
Fancy
Sex
Humor
Fight
Comedy
Fighting

More quotes by Jimmy Carr

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I did a gig in the U.S. once for the homeless. I said 'It's nice to see so many bums on seats.'
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A surprising amount of my jokes sound very implausible but are true.
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My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I can't help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen.
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Cats have nine lives. Makes them ideal for experimentation.
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I had a survey done on my house. 8 out of 10 people said they really rather liked it
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British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough. Use an ashtray!
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Jokes spread around the world and embed themselves in our shared culture the most resonant of them get lodged in the language in the same way as clichés or old wives' tales do.
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If we're all God's children, what's so special about Jesus?
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You never want to be the grumpy guy, although I do have quite a grumpy face.
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I was in love with the idea of being in love with a woman way before I was actually in love with one.
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Yes, I have this crazy honk of a laugh.
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After a gig I always head back to the hotel, remembering granny's words of wisdom. I cancel the late-night pizza and watch the Jonathan Ross show instead.
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Women were quite terrifying until I was older. I think that's partly down to confidence.
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I love those people who do story-telling and who ramble on, but I don't do that, I tell jokes - the sort of jokes that anyone really could tell in the pub.
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I may be middle class, but I'm hard. 'Al dente', you could say.
Jimmy Carr
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But what's true about comedians is that we've all got a huge hole in our personality. In a room of 3,000 people, we're the one person facing in the opposite direction - yet we have this overwhelming desire to be liked.
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I used to buy lottery tickets every week until I realised you could watch it on TV for nothing.
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A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day. She said, 'Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?' I said, 'All right, but we won't get much done.'
Jimmy Carr
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All comedians are a bit attention-seeking and I'm no different. Anyone with the audacity to want to be listened to for an hour and a half must be.
Jimmy Carr
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When I was a kid I had an imaginary friend and I used to think that he went everywhere with me, and that I could talk to him and that he could hear me, and that he could grant me wishes and stuff. And then I grew up, and I stopped going to church.
Jimmy Carr