Quote

A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day. She said, 'Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?' I said, 'All right, but we won't get much done.'

Jimmy Carr

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Jimmy Carr
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: September 15
Comedian
Film Actor
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Writer
James Anthony Patrick Carr
Right
Cancer
Much
Street
Research
Streets
Clipboards
Humor
Spare
Minutes
Spares
Funny
Lady
Done
Stopped

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I had a survey done on my house. 8 out of 10 people said they really rather liked it
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Yes, I have this crazy honk of a laugh.
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I think the idea that death is not the end, that your dog's just gone to live on the farm, is limiting. Thoughts like that prevent you from making the most of the time that you have.
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I, of course, don't have an accent. This is just how things sound when they are pronounced properly.
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I love those people who do story-telling and who ramble on, but I don't do that, I tell jokes - the sort of jokes that anyone really could tell in the pub.
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A big girl once came up to me after a show and said I think you're fatist. I said No, no. I think you're fattest.
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My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I can't help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen.
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Once I was doing a sponsored walk. In the end I managed to raise so much money, I could afford a taxi.
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It had to be hammered home quite a bit because I didn't see any humour in my life at all.
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Jokes spread around the world and embed themselves in our shared culture the most resonant of them get lodged in the language in the same way as clichés or old wives' tales do.
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I didn't plan to be the rude middle-class comedian. You write a certain type of joke that you find funny, and mine happen to be often rude. Yes, it's juvenile, but that's me.
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I was a Christian. I didn't want to have sex before marriage, I was a bit uptight and not very self-confident. I was a virgin until I was 26.
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I don't see myself as offending people.
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Women were quite terrifying until I was older. I think that's partly down to confidence.
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If we're all God's children, what's so special about Jesus?
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Remember to never answer a phone during sex, even if you hilariously answer with 'I can't talk now, I'm going into a tunnel'.
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But what's true about comedians is that we've all got a huge hole in our personality. In a room of 3,000 people, we're the one person facing in the opposite direction - yet we have this overwhelming desire to be liked.
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Recently my girlfriend asked me if I was having sex behind her back and I replied, Yes, who did you think it was?
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I was in the South of France. I saw a Brownie on a school trip. She was holding up a book. It said on the front 'rough guide'. I thought: 'Yeah' she's not a looker.
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All comedians are a bit attention-seeking and I'm no different. Anyone with the audacity to want to be listened to for an hour and a half must be.
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