Quote

When I was a kid I had an imaginary friend and I used to think that he went everywhere with me, and that I could talk to him and that he could hear me, and that he could grant me wishes and stuff. And then I grew up, and I stopped going to church.

Jimmy Carr

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Jimmy Carr
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: September 15
Comedian
Film Actor
Humorist
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Writer
James Anthony Patrick Carr
Stuff
Humor
Grant
Kids
Grew
Grants
Used
Hear
Imaginary
Going
Went
Wishes
Think
Talk
Stopped
Thinking
Church
Everywhere
Funny
Atheism
Wish
Friend

More quotes by Jimmy Carr

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I don't see myself as offending people.
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It had to be hammered home quite a bit because I didn't see any humour in my life at all.
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It's so clear cut with a comedian - you have that reflex action, whereby you laugh or you don't. And so you either love us or you simply cannot see why people are laughing.
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A surprising amount of my jokes sound very implausible but are true.
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There was one time where I failed to perform sexually. My girlfriend said to me oh don't worry, it happens to a lot of guys. Ok, there are two things wrong with that. First of all who are these other guys?, and second of all if it's happening to more than one of us, don't you think it could be YOUR fault?
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I didn't plan to be the rude middle-class comedian. You write a certain type of joke that you find funny, and mine happen to be often rude. Yes, it's juvenile, but that's me.
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If we're all God's children, what's so special about Jesus?
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I was in the South of France. I saw a Brownie on a school trip. She was holding up a book. It said on the front 'rough guide'. I thought: 'Yeah' she's not a looker.
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I think being successful in comedy is being funny and making jokes - anything beyond that is the icing on the cake.
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When you eat a lot of spicy food, you can lose your taste. When I was in India last summer, I was listening to a lot of Michael Bolton.
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You go, well you can't joke about race. Well if you're from a different race and that's your experience of the world and you want to talk about that, then fine. Or you can't talk about disability, but disabled comics can talk about that.
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I think the idea that death is not the end, that your dog's just gone to live on the farm, is limiting. Thoughts like that prevent you from making the most of the time that you have.
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I had a survey done on my house. 8 out of 10 people said they really rather liked it
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TV's not the same buzz. If someone tells you three million people watched the show last week, that's good but, when you walk out in front of 1,000, you think, 'Oh my God, this had better be good'.
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I may be middle class, but I'm hard. 'Al dente', you could say.
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I was a Christian. I didn't want to have sex before marriage, I was a bit uptight and not very self-confident. I was a virgin until I was 26.
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When people come over to my house for dinner, I always have a vegetarian option. They can make do, or they can **** off!
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I worry about my nan. If she's alone and falls, does she make a noise? I'm joking, she's dead.
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Once I was doing a sponsored walk. In the end I managed to raise so much money, I could afford a taxi.
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A big girl once came up to me after a show and said I think you're fatist. I said No, no. I think you're fattest.
Jimmy Carr