Quote

They don't tend to feature the kind of vaginas I like in adult films. I tend to like a thick, heavy pussy - the kind of pussy that looks like it just smoked an exploding cartoon cigar.

Jim Norton

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Jim Norton
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: May 17
Comedian
Sports Commentator
Charlotte
North Carolina
Kind
Heavy
Pussy
Like
Tend
Exploding
Adults
Cigar
Films
Feature
Humor
Cartoon
Funny
Thick
Film
Adult
Vaginas
Looks
Features
Smoked

More quotes by Jim Norton

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I couldn't get laid with a sitcom and a rifle.
Jim Norton
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I don't pull out because... it's not my problem.
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Why is comedy the only form of the arts where people think they have to agree with or approve the content? You don't walk through a museum with a towel and throw it over paintings you don't like.
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You 50 year old one-breasted bag of meat. Just hang it up and be grateful some of your friends are still living.
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Two men spit in their hands, help each other out, then laugh about it later. Just to be silly.
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No periods. If you sneeze, the carpet's ruined.
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While There may be power in forgiveness, there is even more power in lobbing a Molotov cocktail through someone's dining room window.
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Get a in clothes dryer with Magic Johnson and some razorblades.
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God, I hope he dies the night before one of his kids get married.
Jim Norton
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I'm embarrassed for us as a free society that we actually want people punished for saying things we don't like.
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People are just self-centered-it's all about them. And we're telling people it's okay to be 'all about you' because you're a victim and it's not your fault. That's why society has gotten more and more belligerent and selfish.
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I hope you have a miscarriage on a Walmart floor and have the baby's room already decorated.
Jim Norton
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What's the name of the birth defect you have, trampled by a horse during the 2nd trimester?
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My job is to express who I am and what I hate about the country and what I love about it and what I hate about myself and what I love about myself and to make you laugh while I'm doing it.
Jim Norton
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That's an interesting accent you got there. Are you from stroke-victim?
Jim Norton
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For the record, I hate skiing... and if you get killed doing it, GOOD.
Jim Norton
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There's a trench coat and a tragedy in your future.
Jim Norton
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My whole existence is spent just trying to not shove bad food in my fat face. It's like a constant struggle. I'll do really good for a while, and then I do bad, then I do really good.
Jim Norton
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Apologies our cultural obsession with them isn't about actually being offended, or simply needing to hear, “I'm sorry.” It's not really about right or wrong. It's about wanting to throw a rock in the dark and hear something break.
Jim Norton
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I should call myself four market Norton. I'm great in Boston and Cleveland. I do good in Phillie, New Jersey.
Jim Norton