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Apologies our cultural obsession with them isn't about actually being offended, or simply needing to hear, “I'm sorry.” It's not really about right or wrong. It's about wanting to throw a rock in the dark and hear something break.
Jim Norton
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Jim Norton
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: May 17
Comedian
Sports Commentator
Charlotte
North Carolina
Hear
Obsession
Break
Cultural
Dark
Wanting
Wrong
Throw
Actually
Sorry
Apologies
Right
Rock
Needing
Something
Rocks
Apology
Really
Simply
Offended
More quotes by Jim Norton
God, I hope he dies the night before one of his kids get married.
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That looks like something out of the dumpster of planned parenthood.
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They don't tend to feature the kind of vaginas I like in adult films. I tend to like a thick, heavy pussy - the kind of pussy that looks like it just smoked an exploding cartoon cigar.
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I should call myself four market Norton. I'm great in Boston and Cleveland. I do good in Phillie, New Jersey.
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That's an interesting accent you got there. Are you from stroke-victim?
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The funniest people I know always seem to be the ones surrounded by darkness. And that’s probably why they’re the funniest. The deeper the pit, the more humor you need to dig yourself out of it.
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While There may be power in forgiveness, there is even more power in lobbing a Molotov cocktail through someone's dining room window.
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For the record, I hate skiing... and if you get killed doing it, GOOD.
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My whole existence is spent just trying to not shove bad food in my fat face. It's like a constant struggle. I'll do really good for a while, and then I do bad, then I do really good.
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I hope you have a miscarriage on a Walmart floor and have the baby's room already decorated.
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Get a in clothes dryer with Magic Johnson and some razorblades.
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I'm embarrassed for us as a free society that we actually want people punished for saying things we don't like.
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People are just self-centered-it's all about them. And we're telling people it's okay to be 'all about you' because you're a victim and it's not your fault. That's why society has gotten more and more belligerent and selfish.
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There's a trench coat and a tragedy in your future.
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I don't pull out because... it's not my problem.
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No periods. If you sneeze, the carpet's ruined.
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My job is to express who I am and what I hate about the country and what I love about it and what I hate about myself and what I love about myself and to make you laugh while I'm doing it.
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Two men spit in their hands, help each other out, then laugh about it later. Just to be silly.
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What a coincidence, they both go to College and I'm a rapist!
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I hope you slip in a puddle of AIDS and crack your head open
Jim Norton