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Why is comedy the only form of the arts where people think they have to agree with or approve the content? You don't walk through a museum with a towel and throw it over paintings you don't like.
Jim Norton
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Jim Norton
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: May 17
Comedian
Sports Commentator
Charlotte
North Carolina
People
Painting
Museum
Walks
Paintings
Comedy
Museums
Art
Arts
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Content
Think
Throw
Towel
Thinking
Agree
Towels
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Walk
Approve
More quotes by Jim Norton
I don't pull out because... it's not my problem.
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I hope you slip in a puddle of AIDS and crack your head open
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There's a trench coat and a tragedy in your future.
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That's an interesting accent you got there. Are you from stroke-victim?
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They don't tend to feature the kind of vaginas I like in adult films. I tend to like a thick, heavy pussy - the kind of pussy that looks like it just smoked an exploding cartoon cigar.
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What a coincidence, they both go to College and I'm a rapist!
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I'm embarrassed for us as a free society that we actually want people punished for saying things we don't like.
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Two men spit in their hands, help each other out, then laugh about it later. Just to be silly.
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I couldn't get laid with a sitcom and a rifle.
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While There may be power in forgiveness, there is even more power in lobbing a Molotov cocktail through someone's dining room window.
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No periods. If you sneeze, the carpet's ruined.
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What's the name of the birth defect you have, trampled by a horse during the 2nd trimester?
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The funniest people I know always seem to be the ones surrounded by darkness. And that’s probably why they’re the funniest. The deeper the pit, the more humor you need to dig yourself out of it.
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That looks like something out of the dumpster of planned parenthood.
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You 50 year old one-breasted bag of meat. Just hang it up and be grateful some of your friends are still living.
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Apologies our cultural obsession with them isn't about actually being offended, or simply needing to hear, “I'm sorry.” It's not really about right or wrong. It's about wanting to throw a rock in the dark and hear something break.
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For the record, I hate skiing... and if you get killed doing it, GOOD.
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Get a in clothes dryer with Magic Johnson and some razorblades.
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I should call myself four market Norton. I'm great in Boston and Cleveland. I do good in Phillie, New Jersey.
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God, I hope he dies the night before one of his kids get married.
Jim Norton