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People are just self-centered-it's all about them. And we're telling people it's okay to be 'all about you' because you're a victim and it's not your fault. That's why society has gotten more and more belligerent and selfish.
Jim Norton
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Jim Norton
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: May 17
Comedian
Sports Commentator
Charlotte
North Carolina
Selfish
Victim
Faults
Telling
Okay
Belligerent
Society
Centered
Self
Fault
People
Gotten
More quotes by Jim Norton
That's an interesting accent you got there. Are you from stroke-victim?
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You 50 year old one-breasted bag of meat. Just hang it up and be grateful some of your friends are still living.
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I hope you slip in a puddle of AIDS and crack your head open
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I hope you have a miscarriage on a Walmart floor and have the baby's room already decorated.
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What's the name of the birth defect you have, trampled by a horse during the 2nd trimester?
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No periods. If you sneeze, the carpet's ruined.
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That looks like something out of the dumpster of planned parenthood.
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Why is comedy the only form of the arts where people think they have to agree with or approve the content? You don't walk through a museum with a towel and throw it over paintings you don't like.
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I should call myself four market Norton. I'm great in Boston and Cleveland. I do good in Phillie, New Jersey.
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God, I hope he dies the night before one of his kids get married.
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Apologies our cultural obsession with them isn't about actually being offended, or simply needing to hear, “I'm sorry.” It's not really about right or wrong. It's about wanting to throw a rock in the dark and hear something break.
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They don't tend to feature the kind of vaginas I like in adult films. I tend to like a thick, heavy pussy - the kind of pussy that looks like it just smoked an exploding cartoon cigar.
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My whole existence is spent just trying to not shove bad food in my fat face. It's like a constant struggle. I'll do really good for a while, and then I do bad, then I do really good.
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My job is to express who I am and what I hate about the country and what I love about it and what I hate about myself and what I love about myself and to make you laugh while I'm doing it.
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I couldn't get laid with a sitcom and a rifle.
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Two men spit in their hands, help each other out, then laugh about it later. Just to be silly.
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You look like a diabetic strip club owner.
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While There may be power in forgiveness, there is even more power in lobbing a Molotov cocktail through someone's dining room window.
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There's a trench coat and a tragedy in your future.
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For the record, I hate skiing... and if you get killed doing it, GOOD.
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