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I'm embarrassed for us as a free society that we actually want people punished for saying things we don't like.

Jim Norton

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Jim Norton
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: May 17
Comedian
Sports Commentator
Charlotte
North Carolina
People
Punished
Embarrassed
Saying
Society
Actually
Free
Things
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There's a trench coat and a tragedy in your future.
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I couldn't get laid with a sitcom and a rifle.
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Two men spit in their hands, help each other out, then laugh about it later. Just to be silly.
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That looks like something out of the dumpster of planned parenthood.
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I should call myself four market Norton. I'm great in Boston and Cleveland. I do good in Phillie, New Jersey.
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What's the name of the birth defect you have, trampled by a horse during the 2nd trimester?
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What a coincidence, they both go to College and I'm a rapist!
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You 50 year old one-breasted bag of meat. Just hang it up and be grateful some of your friends are still living.
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For the record, I hate skiing... and if you get killed doing it, GOOD.
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Apologies our cultural obsession with them isn't about actually being offended, or simply needing to hear, “I'm sorry.” It's not really about right or wrong. It's about wanting to throw a rock in the dark and hear something break.
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While There may be power in forgiveness, there is even more power in lobbing a Molotov cocktail through someone's dining room window.
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No periods. If you sneeze, the carpet's ruined.
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People are just self-centered-it's all about them. And we're telling people it's okay to be 'all about you' because you're a victim and it's not your fault. That's why society has gotten more and more belligerent and selfish.
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That's an interesting accent you got there. Are you from stroke-victim?
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My whole existence is spent just trying to not shove bad food in my fat face. It's like a constant struggle. I'll do really good for a while, and then I do bad, then I do really good.
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They don't tend to feature the kind of vaginas I like in adult films. I tend to like a thick, heavy pussy - the kind of pussy that looks like it just smoked an exploding cartoon cigar.
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The funniest people I know always seem to be the ones surrounded by darkness. And that’s probably why they’re the funniest. The deeper the pit, the more humor you need to dig yourself out of it.
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Get a in clothes dryer with Magic Johnson and some razorblades.
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I hope you have a miscarriage on a Walmart floor and have the baby's room already decorated.
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You look like a diabetic strip club owner.
Jim Norton