Quote

While There may be power in forgiveness, there is even more power in lobbing a Molotov cocktail through someone's dining room window.

Jim Norton

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Jim Norton
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: May 17
Comedian
Sports Commentator
Charlotte
North Carolina
Someone
Dining
Power
Comedian
May
Humorous
Even
Forgiveness
Lobbing
Window
Molotov
Room
Lobbying
Rooms
Cocktail
Funny
Cocktails

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I should call myself four market Norton. I'm great in Boston and Cleveland. I do good in Phillie, New Jersey.
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What's the name of the birth defect you have, trampled by a horse during the 2nd trimester?
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I hope you have a miscarriage on a Walmart floor and have the baby's room already decorated.
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Get a in clothes dryer with Magic Johnson and some razorblades.
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I couldn't get laid with a sitcom and a rifle.
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I'm embarrassed for us as a free society that we actually want people punished for saying things we don't like.
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I hope you slip in a puddle of AIDS and crack your head open
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People are just self-centered-it's all about them. And we're telling people it's okay to be 'all about you' because you're a victim and it's not your fault. That's why society has gotten more and more belligerent and selfish.
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God, I hope he dies the night before one of his kids get married.
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Two men spit in their hands, help each other out, then laugh about it later. Just to be silly.
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The funniest people I know always seem to be the ones surrounded by darkness. And that’s probably why they’re the funniest. The deeper the pit, the more humor you need to dig yourself out of it.
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Apologies our cultural obsession with them isn't about actually being offended, or simply needing to hear, “I'm sorry.” It's not really about right or wrong. It's about wanting to throw a rock in the dark and hear something break.
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That's an interesting accent you got there. Are you from stroke-victim?
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I don't pull out because... it's not my problem.
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You look like a diabetic strip club owner.
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What a coincidence, they both go to College and I'm a rapist!
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No periods. If you sneeze, the carpet's ruined.
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They don't tend to feature the kind of vaginas I like in adult films. I tend to like a thick, heavy pussy - the kind of pussy that looks like it just smoked an exploding cartoon cigar.
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For the record, I hate skiing... and if you get killed doing it, GOOD.
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There's a trench coat and a tragedy in your future.
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