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Thanksgiving is the most complicated meal you can think of. Every night, dinner is just pasta. It's just different shapes of pasta.
Jim Gaffigan
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Jim Gaffigan
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: July 7
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Elgin
Illinois
James Christopher Gaffigan
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Meal
Thinking
Meals
Dinner
Complicated
Shapes
Night
Different
Pasta
Every
Thanksgiving
More quotes by Jim Gaffigan
Whenever one of my children says, 'Goodnight, Daddy,' I always think to myself, 'You don't mean that.
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My faith kind of keeps me in touch with the idea that I'm not in control of things.
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Some people that work for Hot Pockets came to my Denver Paramount Theater show. They brought these hot pocket boxes the size of suit cases for me to sign. I wrote these are WMD's on the boxes. The HP people seem to have a good sense of humor about all of it.
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I usually don't have a burger, a brat, and a steak but it is 4th of July. And I need the energy if I'm gonna start blowin crap up. It's what the founding fathers would want.
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I try to only eat animals that are vegan. I'm probably the opposite of a vegan.
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I wouldn't say that comedy brought me away from it.I think that my idea of faith was another obligation in my life.
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Other people's children's birthday parties are the most joyful events you will ever resent having to attend.
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Is there a homeless guy built in to the design of Dunkin' Donuts? ...There'll be an entrance here... a deranged lunatic here.
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I went to a Catholic University and there's something about being a Catholic-American. You know, St. Patrick's Day is, I'm Irish-Catholic. There's alcoholism in my family. It's like I've got to be Catholic, right?
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I'm an eccentric, silly, observational guy, but I'm not gonna frighten off social conservatives.
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A lot of the teachings really kind of keep me grounded.
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It's so obvious The Weather Channel is pro hurricane. Fair and balanced my ass.
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That's my private business. Besides, the perception is that people that believe in God are stupid.
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I always imagine that if I met Dr. Seuss, he would be very similar to Crispin Glover.
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I'd really like to promote my increasing consumption of bacon.
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I really don't care about birthdays. It's something where even as a kid, I never really felt comfortable when someone would sing to me.
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I only dated one Asian girl, but she was very Asian. She was a panda.
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On MySpace ... the whole demographic of the stand-up comedy fan has changed. It's like an indie band thing. People think they've discovered you.
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