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Be more assertive with what you want to do.
Jim Gaffigan
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Jim Gaffigan
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: July 7
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Elgin
Illinois
James Christopher Gaffigan
Assertive
More quotes by Jim Gaffigan
I would make sweet love to Don Rickles.
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I love sleep. I need sleep. We all do, of course. There are those people that don't need sleep. I think they're called 'successful.
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I love how New York is so multicultural. I wish I was ethnic, I'm nothing. Because if you're Hispanic and you get angry, people are like, 'He's got a Latin temper!' If you're a white guy and you get angry, people are like, 'That guy's a jerk.'
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On MySpace ... the whole demographic of the stand-up comedy fan has changed. It's like an indie band thing. People think they've discovered you.
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I married a woman who loves to camp, and I am what you would call indoorsy... My wife always brings up, Camping's a tradition in my family. Hey, it was a tradition in everyone's family 'til we came up with the house.
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I'd been acting and doing stand-up in New York about eight years, getting rejected, and I finally got the opportunity to do stand-up on Letterman, which holds even more importance for me. With comedians, that's definitely the pinnacle, but being from Indiana, it was a big to-do.
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For stand-up comedians that go onstage and get to write and perform and direct, and do all these things, the allure of a television show is still there but if it doesn't offer a level of creative fulfillment, it's oddly unappealing.
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I'm a comedian, which is the opposite of a lifestyle that equips you to be a parent.
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It really never came up, but I think that in present-day America, they're - you know, and I touched on it in the initial clip - is that we are in the middle of this culture war.
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Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?
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Deep frying a Twinkie makes it healthy, right?
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I would say that now I'm somebody who goes to church.
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There are a lot of good looking men on this planet. It seems like once a week someone will tell me, I know someone who looks like you and I don't know what say to them except, Tell them hi.
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It's good to be back in New York. I have lived here ten years. I'm originally from Indiana. I know what most of you are thinking: Indiana: Mafia. But the fact of the matter is where I grew up there was something very similar to the Mafia: 4-H.
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I'm not a foodie I'm an eatie. I don't have anything against foodies. I just don't have the time or the interest to do that much research.
Jim Gaffigan
I usually don't have a burger, a brat, and a steak but it is 4th of July. And I need the energy if I'm gonna start blowin crap up. It's what the founding fathers would want.
Jim Gaffigan
Whenever you go out to eat you gotta get the appetizer. 'Cause the appetizer's just an excuse for an extra meal. You're always like Lets see, I will start with the 80 buffalo wings...and do you have a low-cal blue cheese? 'Cause I don't wanna fill up too much.
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You ever talk about a movie with someone that read the book? They're always so condescending. 'Ah, the book was much better than the movie.' Oh really? What I enjoyed about the movie: no reading.
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Now don't get me wrong, I love animals, but I like eatin' 'em more... fun to pet, better to chew.
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I never went to church when I was in college, either.
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