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I think being a doctor is really hard, and it's really this thankless, never-ending job. It's not even that you get done with a project. There are always sick people.

Jim Gaffigan

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Jim Gaffigan
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: July 7
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Elgin
Illinois
James Christopher Gaffigan
Always
Doctors
Never
Projects
Think
Sick
Thinking
Jobs
People
Done
Thankless
Hard
Ending
Even
Doctor
Really
Project

More quotes by Jim Gaffigan

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It's amazing how email has changed our lives. You ever get a handwritten letter in the mail today? 'What the? Has someone been kidnapped?'
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We wrote about having five kids and bringing them to church. A journalist at The Washington Post wrote this article where the headline was The New Catholic Evangelism Of Jim Gaffigan. And it was a bit terrifying.
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A lot of the teachings really kind of keep me grounded.
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When you hear bacon cooking....that sizzling sound isn't the fat cooking....that's applause.
Jim Gaffigan
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In Indiana, I wasn't anything special. But in New York, I've gone out with girls with purple hair who go out with me because I'm exotic!
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The idea of being a practicing Catholic, it's - for me, it's like - I need a lot of practice, you know what I mean?
Jim Gaffigan
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I was raised in a family where my father was the first one to go to college.
Jim Gaffigan
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I smoke crack. I get all my dancers together and we do a prayer.
Jim Gaffigan
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I do just want to do jokes. I don't want to be a divisive figure.
Jim Gaffigan
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I like that in my audiences, there's a lesbian couple sitting next to a Mormon family.
Jim Gaffigan
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Holidays are also an opportunity for kids to unlearn every good habit they've learned during the rest of the year. They don't go to school. They get to stay up past their bedtime. They get candy and presents for doing nothing. Childhood utopia.
Jim Gaffigan
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There were times in my life when I had one thing to do all day, but I still couldn’t get to it. “I gotta go to the post office, but I’d probably have to put on pants. And they’re only open till five. Looks like I’m going to have to do that next week.
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When our bed is made, it's covered in 40 pillows-like we're stockpiling ammo for the global pillow fight.
Jim Gaffigan
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You ever mix two different groups of friends? That can be stressful. You always feel like you have to prep 'em. You're like, These people over here, uh, they don't think I drink. And don't be thrown by my British accent.
Jim Gaffigan
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I've always been somebody that it takes me longer to learn things, but once I learn them... I'm like a quarterback that plays best in the fourth quarter.
Jim Gaffigan
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I think I grew up with the idea that God was a punishing being, constructed around rules.
Jim Gaffigan
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Comedians kind of write what comes to them. You can give yourself little assignments, but it's what inspires you.
Jim Gaffigan
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That's not to say that I'm a well-informed Catholic. I'm still in idiot.
Jim Gaffigan
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You ever get a postcard, you get so excited you don't even read it! Hey I got a - who cares.
Jim Gaffigan
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I'm not saying that McDonald's gift certificates caused the obesity epidemic, but in retrospect, the timing is kind of suspicious.
Jim Gaffigan