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I had some jokes that were dirty. And some of it is when I started making appearances on Conan and Letterman back in the late '90s, I think. You had to remove the curse words, or you couldn't do some of the more explicit jokes.
Jim Gaffigan
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Jim Gaffigan
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: July 7
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Elgin
Illinois
James Christopher Gaffigan
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Besides hot pockets keeps introducing new products every 10 minutes so I always have new stuff on the topic.
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Raising kids may be a thankless job with ridiculous hours, but at least the pay sucks.
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I'm not a foodie I'm an eatie. I don't have anything against foodies. I just don't have the time or the interest to do that much research.
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I'm not saying that McDonald's gift certificates caused the obesity epidemic, but in retrospect, the timing is kind of suspicious.
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I like that in my audiences, there's a lesbian couple sitting next to a Mormon family.
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I don't want to be a TV star for the sake of being on TV. I want to have a TV show that's based around my comedy.
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I'm definitely hesitant wearing shorts during the summer. Like for a pale person, you know, summer - everyone in the world is so excited for summer, but pale people, we're just like, oh no.
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Don't you expect a rainbow coming out of the tub of bacon strips at the end of the buffet line?
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Deep frying a Twinkie makes it healthy, right?
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My new years resolution? I will be less laz.
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There are some people who know who I am but there are a lot of people that have no idea who I am - which is not to say that that's a bad thing.
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I was looking at a bottle of water they have nutritional facts printed on the side. You know, I'm no chemist, but I have a rough idea what's in water.
Jim Gaffigan
