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My children have made me a better man, which is - in the end, that's probably more important than two more comedy specials or being in better shape.

Jim Gaffigan

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Jim Gaffigan
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: July 7
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Elgin
Illinois
James Christopher Gaffigan
Men
Comedy
Probably
Two
Ends
Better
Children
Specials
Important
Shape
Made
Shapes

More quotes by Jim Gaffigan

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I do have some Catholic stuff that is done from the perspective of an ignorant Catholic. But other than that, topic-wise, there's nothing really filthy.
Jim Gaffigan
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I would say I'm - in the show, I'm a cultural Catholic, which is what I was.
Jim Gaffigan
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All I want to do is be a good dad, but I'm pretty bad at it.
Jim Gaffigan
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In stand up, you get an awareness of how you come across, but in acting there is almost a hyper-awareness on how you might be physically perceived.
Jim Gaffigan
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I like bowling. It's just one of those things where I can do so many jokes about it because I do know bowling. Somebody once said, The whitest things in the world are Jim Gaffigan and bowling.
Jim Gaffigan
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I don't think comedians make an active decision to be a certain persona. Comedians write the way they're going to write.
Jim Gaffigan
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There are some people who know who I am but there are a lot of people that have no idea who I am - which is not to say that that's a bad thing.
Jim Gaffigan
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But in Indiana it's not like New York where everyone's like, 'We're from New York and we're the best' or 'We're from Texas and we like things big' it's more like 'We're from Indiana and we're gonna move.
Jim Gaffigan
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Most of my material is , it doesn't necessarily involve a lot of editing. So even the show with the World Meeting of Families in Philadelphia, I don't have to worry about some of the material being inappropriate.
Jim Gaffigan
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I always want my standup act to appeal to everybody in the room, and when I started standup, and I would see people talk about their kids and their wife, and I'd always cringe a little bit, like, 'I can't get a date, I don't know what you're talking about.'
Jim Gaffigan
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My new years resolution? I will be less laz.
Jim Gaffigan
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How dumb do I think the Americans are? I bet you we could sell those idiots water.
Jim Gaffigan
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Kale is a superfood and it’s special power is tasting bad.
Jim Gaffigan
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I live in New York City, but it doesn't matter if you're in any large, metropolitan area, there's kind of a little bit of survival-of-the-fittest, so when you encounter kindness or people going out of their way in an empathetic way, it's almost startling.
Jim Gaffigan
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Oh great, socks. You know I'm dying for your sins right? Yeah, but thanks for the socks! They'll go great with my sandals. What am I, German?
Jim Gaffigan
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Meredith Baxter Birney gets beaten by a rod, in the Lifetime Original, Rod.
Jim Gaffigan
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I think the worst professional advice I received was this kind of unspoken message of sit back and wait your turn, or sit back and wait and let other people do things.
Jim Gaffigan
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I was looking at a bottle of water they have nutritional facts printed on the side. You know, I'm no chemist, but I have a rough idea what's in water.
Jim Gaffigan
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Well my chocolate is so good I could sell it in an obnoxious prism shape.
Jim Gaffigan
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I'm a weirdo that goes on stage to make strangers laugh, but if I wasn't working, I would just want to be with my wife and kids. I don't even think I'd want to go out to dinner.
Jim Gaffigan