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The idea of being a practicing Catholic, it's - for me, it's like - I need a lot of practice, you know what I mean?

Jim Gaffigan

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Jim Gaffigan
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: July 7
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Elgin
Illinois
James Christopher Gaffigan
Need
Mean
Needs
Like
Practicing
Catholic
Practice
Idea
Ideas

More quotes by Jim Gaffigan

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There should be a children's song: 'If you're happy and you know it, keep it to yourself and let your dad sleep'.
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In Indiana, I wasn't anything special. But in New York, I've gone out with girls with purple hair who go out with me because I'm exotic!
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I'm there to make people laugh. I'm not trying to come across as sexy.
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I really don't care about birthdays. It's something where even as a kid, I never really felt comfortable when someone would sing to me.
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The only advantage to wearing glasses is that you can do that dramatic removal.
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When our bed is made, it's covered in 40 pillows-like we're stockpiling ammo for the global pillow fight.
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Don't you expect a rainbow coming out of the tub of bacon strips at the end of the buffet line?
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Is there a homeless guy built in to the design of Dunkin' Donuts? ...There'll be an entrance here... a deranged lunatic here.
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Meredith Baxter Birney gets beaten by a rod, in the Lifetime Original, Rod.
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Even when you hear about a comedian getting married, among comedians, we're always kind of like, what are they doing?
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I live in New York City, but it doesn't matter if you're in any large, metropolitan area, there's kind of a little bit of survival-of-the-fittest, so when you encounter kindness or people going out of their way in an empathetic way, it's almost startling.
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You wanna know how good bacon is? To improve other food, they wrap it in bacon.
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You ever mix two different groups of friends? That can be stressful. You always feel like you have to prep 'em. You're like, These people over here, uh, they don't think I drink. And don't be thrown by my British accent.
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I'm a comedian, which is the opposite of a lifestyle that equips you to be a parent.
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Who was the first person to walk into a harbor and say, Whatever that horrible smell is I want to eat it
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I believe that comedians do what they do, and then they get credit or criticism for doing it. There's nothing planned about this.
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I married a woman who loves to camp, and I am what you would call indoorsy... My wife always brings up, Camping's a tradition in my family. Hey, it was a tradition in everyone's family 'til we came up with the house.
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I love writing stand-up so much and tinkering and looking for ideas.
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What exactly are the ingredients of Ranch dressing? Mayo and disappointment?
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Lifetime is television for women. Yet for some reason, there's always a woman getting beaten on that channel. In a Lifetime original, Meredith Baxter-Berney gets beaten with a rod. In a Lifetime original, Rod.
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