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My faith kind of keeps me in touch with the idea that I'm not in control of things.
Jim Gaffigan
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Jim Gaffigan
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: July 7
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Elgin
Illinois
James Christopher Gaffigan
Touch
Control
Faith
Idea
Ideas
Kind
Things
Keeps
More quotes by Jim Gaffigan
Bacon is like the opposite of medicine. It's like, Take that, Lipitor.
Jim Gaffigan
I only dated one Asian girl, but she was very Asian. She was a panda.
Jim Gaffigan
I watch a lot of TV, I drink a lot of coffee, but you know what's really addictive? Heroin.
Jim Gaffigan
It really never came up, but I think that in present-day America, they're - you know, and I touched on it in the initial clip - is that we are in the middle of this culture war.
Jim Gaffigan
Don't you expect a rainbow coming out of the tub of bacon strips at the end of the buffet line?
Jim Gaffigan
Some of my fear and anxieties surrounding faith, I think, provides some good comedy for my act.
Jim Gaffigan
I believe that comedians do what they do, and then they get credit or criticism for doing it. There's nothing planned about this.
Jim Gaffigan
I'm there to make people laugh. I'm not trying to come across as sexy.
Jim Gaffigan
Bacon's the best, even the frying of bacon sounds like an applause.
Jim Gaffigan
I was always told that Hoosier came from when settlers in the state, when a stranger came on their property they'd say, Who's there? Who's there? So people that were from Indiana were the people that said Who's there? But what do I know? I don't read or interact with people outside the Internet.
Jim Gaffigan
I was raised in a family where my father was the first one to go to college.
Jim Gaffigan
I married a woman who loves to camp, and I am what you would call indoorsy... My wife always brings up, Camping's a tradition in my family. Hey, it was a tradition in everyone's family 'til we came up with the house.
Jim Gaffigan
One of the benefits of eating salad is that you can eat tons of it and never be satisfied.
Jim Gaffigan
I spend way too much time on Facebook and MySpace to feel too uncomfortable at this. I like to think of the Internet as an effective way to waste time and time.
Jim Gaffigan
Is there a homeless guy built in to the design of Dunkin' Donuts? ...There'll be an entrance here... a deranged lunatic here.
Jim Gaffigan
I realized, in removing or rewriting these jokes, that often the jokes weren't done or that I was using, for me, the curse words as kind of a crutch. So then I just started writing.
Jim Gaffigan
The hardest part of the day is all the stuff after I open my eyes in the morning.
Jim Gaffigan
How'd we come up with the robe? Was some guy just like, 'Hey, I've got an idea! Why don't we make a coat out of a towel? You can have a little belt that goes around. You could dunk the belt in the toilet! Have a toilet belt.'
Jim Gaffigan
There are some people who know who I am but there are a lot of people that have no idea who I am - which is not to say that that's a bad thing.
Jim Gaffigan
I usually don't have a burger, a brat, and a steak but it is 4th of July. And I need the energy if I'm gonna start blowin crap up. It's what the founding fathers would want.
Jim Gaffigan
