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I would say that now I'm somebody who goes to church.

Jim Gaffigan

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Jim Gaffigan
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: July 7
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Elgin
Illinois
James Christopher Gaffigan
Goes
Somebody
Church
Would

More quotes by Jim Gaffigan

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I've had plenty of friends tell me that their first time doing stand-up, they do well, and then they tank for a while after that. Kind of like the first time you do a drug, you're like, Huh! This is pretty darn good, and then you spend all your money trying to get the same high.
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Comedians kind of write what comes to them. You can give yourself little assignments, but it's what inspires you.
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As an actor, you deal with so much rejection and humiliation. When the good things come around, you tend not to trust your instincts.
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The hardest part of the day is all the stuff after I open my eyes in the morning.
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Even when you hear about a comedian getting married, among comedians, we're always kind of like, what are they doing?
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I didn't choose to be the guy who talks about the mundane - it's just who I am and it's what kind of works for me.
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I like that in my audiences, there's a lesbian couple sitting next to a Mormon family.
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I just want to be known as funny.
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I was raised in a family where my father was the first one to go to college.
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I like bowling. It's just one of those things where I can do so many jokes about it because I do know bowling. Somebody once said, The whitest things in the world are Jim Gaffigan and bowling.
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Well my chocolate is so good I could sell it in an obnoxious prism shape.
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“Really, there are two types of people who go bowling. There are people who really, really love bowling. Then there are the people that are like: wouldn’t it be hysterical if we went bowling?”
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Don't you think it's strange how many referees work at Footlocker?
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When you have five little kids, you're not going to open Mindy Kaling's latest book. You're playing with your kids.
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Don't get caught up in other people's expectations. Don't take anything for granted, either.
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I've always been somebody that it takes me longer to learn things, but once I learn them... I'm like a quarterback that plays best in the fourth quarter.
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Whenever one of my children says, 'Goodnight, Daddy,' I always think to myself, 'You don't mean that.
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I don't want to be a TV star for the sake of being on TV. I want to have a TV show that's based around my comedy.
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My kids are always awake. It's they're taking shifts. 'Alright, I'll annoy 'em from midnight to . Who wants to ?'
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The only advantage to wearing glasses is that you can do that dramatic removal.
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